Rule 069 | An Irish Goodbye Is The Best Way To Leave A Party

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The Peppers begin to realize that one of them is a party animal and the other one usually tries to sneak out early with an Irish Goodbye. Jessie tries to explain her fitness-overdose to Gerard, but she ends up feeling both physically and emotionally tender. (So, of course this means we're talking about it.) 

Ps. - Want to come on vacation with us? We’re headed to Mexico with some of our favorite listeners, and you can find all the info at greatlovegetaway.com!
 

QUICK BITES: 

  • Gerard brings up a new social trend that he’s noticed lately, and Jessie defends herself against an accusation of ghosting.

  • Jessie tried to make a case for skipping Gerard’s company Christmas party this year, but the allure of getting dressed up got her out of the house.

  • Our annual 12-hour party is right around the corner and you can hear about the backstory of all things epiphany back in Episode 21.

  • Some couples have a safe word in the bedroom, but we are instituting a safe word for various preferences within social settings.

  • Tone it Up is the at-home workout program that has whipped Jessie’s butt into shape over the past several months.

  • The Peppers recently purged their closets (episode 65) and had somewhat surprisingly different reactions to trying on all of their clothes. 

  • Gerard has a hard time understanding Jessie’s deep seated body insecurities. We talked about bikinis back in episode 7, but Jessie still puts a lot of stock in how Gerard sees her outward appearance.

  • The Pepper Dress that Jessie launched earlier this year was born from the desire to wear something that makes her feel beautiful despite the bloat.

  • Letting your most shameful bits show can bring a ton of healing if it’s done correctly. A particular  instagram post by Jen Gotch provided a ton of inspiration for Jessie this week.

  • Jessie is sick of standing in front of the mirror alone, so she’s starting a new podcast instead of a support group. Stay tuned here

  • Jessie’s chronic pain (episode 33) can be confusing when it comes to feeling healthy vs. looking healthy, but she's trying to be better about discerning between the two.

 

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS: 

  1. What is the best party you’ve been to?
  2. Did you have any embarrassing nicknames in grade school?

  3. Do you have any pieces of clothing that trigger insecurities when you wear them?

 

Rule 068 | Never Underestimate The Power Of A Primetime Drama

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This week, The Peppers try to decide which room of the house is best for watching tv, eating dinner, making love + falling asleep (in no particular order). Gerard claims that more pixels will keep him awake while they snuggle, and Jessie spins her wheels trying to decode their varying personality types.

Ps. - Want to come on vacation with us? We’re headed to Mexico with some of our favorite listeners, and you can find all the info at greatlovegetaway.com!

QUICK BITES:

  • We talked about our TV watching habits back in Episode 44 and you won’t be surprised to find out that not much has changed.

  • Gerard falls asleep approximately 13.5 seconds after getting into bed... for TV watching, for naps, and probably even for sex.

  • Jessie wonders if watching heartfelt shows with each other can create as much as a connection as actually having heartfelt conversations

  • Gerard thinks that watching TV outside of the bedroom will keep him from falling asleep in the middle of a show. Especially if it involves some sort of fancy projector screen so that we don’t have to ruin the decor in our front room.

  • Jessie finally concedes to Gerard in an argument for the very first time in MIF history.

  • We recently watched The Christmas Story and Gerard slept for almost the entire film. Jessie was annoyed, but now she finally understands all of the inside jokes about fragile leg lamps.

  • This episode has us shamelessly processing our possible Enneagram numbers, and you can take this free test to find your own. Jessie also recommends a book called The Road Back to You and the corresponding podcast of the same name.

  • Studying our Strengths has been an eye-opening way to learn more about each other’s inner world.

  • Jessie’s family plays Balderdash with a political (and incorrect) spin but despite their annoying habit, we still really like the original game.

  • Episode 43 of the Sorta Awesome podcast is a great resource for anyone looking to learn more about the Myers-Briggs test.

 

TRIGEER QUESTIONS:

  1. Which partner is more likely to fall asleep while you’re watching a movie together?

  2. Does watching an emotional show or movie help you feel more connected with your sweetie pie? Are there particular shows that fall into this category for you?

  3. Have the results of a personality test ever helped you to understand your spouse more fully?

Rule 067 | Coffee Is The Best Way To Ground Your Morning Routine

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Jessie unlocks the key to manipulation by taping a magazine tear to the front of the fridge. Now the Peppers are considering a brand new brewing contraption and Gerard’s recent facial hair makes him the perfect candidate for a Chemex. Neither partner can decide on the best approach to pest control, but Jessie's recent spider run-in is causing some extra urgency.

Don’t forget that we’ll send you a letterpress print when you post a shout out to social media...  just make sure to use the tags @meetthepeppers / #marriageisfunny and send us the screenshot before the end of 2017! 


Ps. - Want to come on vacation with us? We’re headed to Mexico with some of our favorite listeners, and you can find all the info at greatlovegetaway.com

 

QUICK BITES: 

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. If you could add or remove one thing from your morning routine, what would it be?
     
  2. What is the best cup of coffee that you've ever had in your life?
     
  3. Which person in the relationship is better at bug squashing -- you or your partner?

Rule 066 | Spontaneous Combustion Is No Laughing Matter

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Jessie admits her anxiety around family holiday dinners + Gerard begins to realize that both Peppers have far too much on their plates.

Don’t forget that we’ll send you a letterpress print when you post a photo to social media with the tags @meetthepeppers / #marriageisfunny but just make sure to send us the screenshot before the end of 2017!

Ps. - Want to come on vacation with us? We’re headed to Mexico with some of our favorite listeners, and you can find all the info at greatlovegetaway.com!

QUICK BITES: 

  • Jessie is still perplexed about the confusion around her dietary restrictions. Listen back to Episode 6 for a funny example of the last misunderstanding.

  • We’ve spoken before about feeling like a guest at your in-laws house, but Gerard explains that he sometimes has to hang back in order to make it work.

  • Jessie’s famous healthy lasagna recipe is really just a mashup of the following: eggplant “noodles”, tomato sauce, your cheese of choice, cooked spinach, black olives, artichoke hearts, and plenty of herbs/spices. Bake for 45 mins at 375 degrees and sprinkle with parm + crushed red peppers.

  • Listen to this refresher of our Epiphany set up back in Episode 21.

  • Jessie makes this sugar-free version of cranberry sauce every year for Thanksgiving... There is still a large leftover vat in our fridge, but she’s somehow convinced that it was a huge hit.

  • If you’re curious about the house church movement that our community is following, feel free to check out the book Multiply by Francis Chan.
     

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What is the one traditional holiday food that your partner (or your in-laws) cannot live without?

  2. Have you ever had to cut a commitment out of your life in order to protect your priorities or your relationships?

  3. What is your all-time favorite way to really rest with your partner? 

Rule 065 | Always Start A New Season By Clearing Out The Garage

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The Peppers have opposing feelings about their favorite winter drinks, but both are highly averse to Christmas music that plays before December. Jessie tries to rally for a “pre-decoration purge” but her motives come to light when she claims the garage as her future Season Headquarters.

Don’t forget that we’ll send you a letterpress print when you post a photo to social media with the tags @meetthepeppers / #marriageisfunny but just make sure to send us the screenshot before the end of 2017!

Ps. - Want to come on vacation with us in April? We’re headed to Mexico with some of our favorite listeners, and you can find all the info at greatlovegetaway.com!

QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie’s Official Bobsled Recipe: Prepare our favorite healthy hot cocoa mix (according to the package) and then add a generous glug of peppermint shnapps to spice things up. Add a festive travel mug and you’ve got yourself a party on ice skates!

  • The Little Drummer Boy Challenge is being officially extended to our Great Love Gang. Find the rules and play along on the thread in our FB group. (Here’s a pro-tip: Don't listen to the Pentatonix Christmas Album without skipping the first song.)

  • Feel free to get yourself a nativity scene and copy our orthodox version of elf-on-the-shelf.

  • The used paint cans have GOT to go because the stock for Jessie’s ethical apparel line is getting ready to take over our humble garage.

  • Time to bust out the Marie Kondo Method like we did in our last episode about minimalism. Back then we were just dipping our toes in the water, and now we’re ready to dive in head first.

  • Gerard proposes a phased approach to getting festive, but insists on beating the neighbors by getting our lights up first.


TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. If you could only listen to one Christmas Album for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

  2. Which partner is more cutthroat when it comes to competition?

  3. What is your favorite tradition that is used to mark the beginning of Winter Holidays?

Rule 064 | A Unified Marriage Makes The Best Goal Line Defense

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This week, Gerard is working overtime while Jessie decides to leave him in the dust on her next device upgrade. The Peppers try to be strategic about stress management skills, but all of the football metaphors are really upping their game.

Don’t forget that we’ll send you a letterpress print when you post a photo to social media with the tags @meetthepeppers / #marriageisfunny and just make sure to send us the screenshot before the end of 2017!


Ps. - Want to come on vacation with us? We’re headed to Mexico with some of our favorite listeners, and you can find all the info at greatlovegetaway.com!

 

QUICK BITES: 

  • Gerard has been working nearly around the clock and Jessie is trying to be a good sport amidst the crazy schedule. Listen to another surprisingly accurate sports reference in Episode 33, where we chat about living with chronic pain + college basketball.

  • Past birthday hurts propel most of Gerard’s decisions on taking PTO days celebrate, but everything goes out the window when he lets work-stress take over his week.

  • Being overwhelmed about work feels oddly (and unfortunately) familiar to both of the Peppers. Listen to another episode about Gerard’s perpetually crammed calendar and then hear what happens when Jessie eventually turns into a work widow.

  • Jessie has a rage black out when Gerard lapses on his husbandly-duties, but Gerard is quick to forgive because the apology was sincere.

  • Emojis and iMessages are no longer healthy elements of our communication, but hashing out our cell phone preferences has oddly seemed to help.

  • Gerard has spoken about his unhealthy cell phone relationship on the show twice before and now it’s apparent that his struggle is an annual thing.

  • Identity theft is a valid concern for Jessie (something she happens to share with this past podcast guest), but Gerard brings a dose of reality that finally gets her back on track.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What is one thing that you'd like to receive more grace about from your partner this week?
  2. What are some of the actual symptoms that help you recognize when your spouse is stressed out?
  3. Which partner is more paranoid about things like identity fraud and conspiracy theories?

Rule 063 | Babies Take Way More Work Than Podcasts

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Still no plans to have kids of our own, but that doesn’t mean we can’t put our (amateur) parenting skills to good use. Jessie gives Gerard a pep talk while he processes his emotions, and we both resolve to be better about arguing with generous amounts of grace.

Join us in April for the next Great Love Getaway and we'd love to hang out with you online while you listen! 

 

QUICK BITES:

  • Looking for the backstory on our parenting status? Ep 40 is where we dig in to the personal decision that we get asked about at LEAST twice a week.

  • Jessie recently opened up in a blog post about motherhood doubts from an intentional non-mom.

  • We’re excited about the short-term voluntary care organization that we volunteer with, and you should definitely check to see if there is a Safe Families chapter in your area!

  • Gerard comes clean about a WIDE range of emotions: sadness, relief, guilt, confusion… We’ve both changed our minds at least once throughout this process, but wholeheartedly agree that being generous is our priority.

  • We've learned that accepting help from our church family has been the only way to survive our first care-taking placement.

  • Gerard has a propensity for correcting Jessie when she gives inaccurate statements. There are “no buts” about the fact that arguing fairly requires a willingness to be wrong every once in awhile.

  • Saying "YES, AND" is a very useful marriage tip when communicating with your partner -- Whether you’re playing an actual improv game or decided where to go for dinner, we highly recommend agreeing with each other as a way to move the moment forward.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS: 

  1. What would it take to fit an extra kid into your household and life for a weekend? 

  2. Do you consider your partner to be more of a "yes and" person or a "no but" person?

  3. Does your family have an abundance of something (time, money, love, skills) that you could be radically generous with as a way to help someone else?

Rule 062 | It Only Takes One Spouse To Change A Lightbulb

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Jessie admits to a birthday wishlist that is “dirtier” than most, and Gerard is determined to wiggle out of cleaning the house. Conflict bubbles up from the home management department and both Peppers decide to toss the “honey do’s” straight into the compost pile.

We love hearing what you think about the show... Leave your feedback on iTunes, and find out how to support the podcast right over here!

 

QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie’s birthday wishlist is dirtier than most... Does composting count as a normal (earth-friendly) way to celebrate another year on the planet?

  • The countertop compost bin is not going to cut it (unless we add an outdoor pile as well), but a large scale version won't cut it unless we can find a way to get one on the roof.

  • We were guessing on most of the set-up process and details, but here is a handy link to some REAL know-how for Composting 101.

  • Nitrogen IS good for gardening, but carbon is why we add newspaper clippings to the pile. 

  • Gerard admits that the act of composting only sounds fun because it would make a good conversation starter.

  • Additional things that can be composted: pet hair, post-it notes, seaweed, q-tips, tea bags, fingernail clippings, leather scraps, and lint from the dryer. Who knew?! (Obviously, not us.)

  • The giant chalkboard wall (which made a cameo appearance in this lipsync video) may indeed have been the perfect solution to all of our chore-list woes.
     

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Which person is more likely to do the heavy research (or extensive review-reading) for an upcoming purchase?
     
  2. Do you ever make chore-lists for your spouse? Which is more effective for your family: a shared family list or a separate one for each partner?
     
  3. Have you ever intentionally left a task undone, in hopes that your partner would take care of it for you?

 

Rule 061 | Getting Away Creates Space For Great Love

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We’re back for Season Five with lots of fun stuff to tell you! First -- tune in for a BIG announcement about our next Great Love Getaway in Puerto Vallarta, and then head to our vacation page to find out how to join us on the trip.

This week’s show is a story-filled recap of everything we learned on our anniversary trip to Morocco, Spain + Portugal in September. Adventure lovers will learn from our silly mistakes and seasoned travelers will laugh at all the ridiculous blunders... A must-listen for anyone who missed our insta-stories and is dying to hear (or willing to tolerate) the full rundown.  

Meanwhile -- we’re so excited to be back for another season and thank you so much to our generous Great Love Gang who is making this show possible! Find out how to get involved on the support page of our site and don’t forget to come hang out on twitter and instagram while you listen!

QUICK BITES:

  • Check out the highlights of our Summer Travel Series for the full itinerary and all of our BEST adventure tips.
  • If Tomorrow Gerard has a problem, then Tomorrow Jessie has a problem too. (Unfortunately, Today Gerard likes to save money without thinking of the consequences and that can sometimes cause a lot of problems for both of them.)
  • Jessie’s new favorite travel sleeping contraption is called a trtl pillow and the irony of that name is not lost on either one of us.
  • The Peppers packed for two whole weeks in just two tiny carry-ons! Proof that when you pair a stylist with an actuary, they can combine their packing powers for the good of suitcases everywhere.
  • Our trip to The Blue City of Chefchaouen got cancelled after a rough night on the overnight train.
  • Jessie’s refuses to rest her head on any questionable surfaces so she MacGuyvered herself a sleeping situation using some extra flat sheets and her trusty leather backpack.
  • Who doesn’t love sleeping on a mattress that reminds you of a greasy-spoon diner booth?! (Jessie doesn’t. In case that isn’t clear from the episode or the sarcasm of this question.)
  • If you ever find yourself on the coast of Central Portugal, please go try the buttered cheese and pesto from Azenhas do Mar.
  • If you ever find yourself eating too much buttered cheese at Azenhas do Mar, we recommend chasing it with a digestive enzyme and a couple of charcoal pills.
  • Despite any rumors you may have heard, Jessie has NOT switched over to Team Nap.
  • Gerard hates to leave a country with their local currency, so Jessie has gotten quite good at spending it out to the very last dirham.

 

Lessons From Our Anniversary Adventure: 

  1. Sometimes it’s ok to pay a little extra money to fly direct.

  2. We could all probably stand to do a lot less laundry in our lives

  3. Switzerland is really expensive.

  4. Never force your wife to ride on an overnight train in Morocco.

  5. It’s always ok to change your plans in the middle of the trip. Sometimes it’s worth it to go with the flow and change your plans at the last minute.

  6. Never ever (4x) travel without antibacterial wipes.

  7. The world isn’t going to end if you occasionally indulge in really good bread while on vacation.

  8. Check the weather before you go on special excursions, and be flexible on dates in order to make it work.

  9. The world would be a better place if everyone anchored their days around a siesta.

  10. Always change your money to the local currency if you want to get the best exchange rate.

  11. Getting outside your typical routine is a great way to experience special moments with your partner.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS: 

  1. Which is worse? Being stuck in a small airplane seat for a short amount of time OR having extra leg room in a big seat for a really long flight with lots of layovers?
  2. What is your all time favorite food indulgence that you reserve especially for travel or other special occasions.
  3. Where is the best spot in your neighborhood to take a blanket and a bottle of wine for date night?