Misophonia

Rule 073 | Sympathy Pains Can Lead To Sympathy Problems

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This week, Gerard + Jessie learn that sympathy pains can extend from partner to partner, as well as from person to pet. Appliance anxiety causes destruction at Casa de Pepper and the whole family is shocked that no one actually got shocked. Depression isn’t always easy to talk about, but it’s important to tell your spouse how you feel for the sake of boosting the overall (mental) health of the marriage.

Thanks to PrepDish, Thrive Market + Amazon for making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head to our site for more info about how to support the show.


QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie and Sadie suffer from sympathy pains in everything from back pain to misophonia to general anxiety.

  • We are trying to figure out the best ways to keep our girl calm, and these herbal pills and CBD drops are starting to help. We loved this podcast episode about separation anxiety and are thinking about getting Sadie a thundershirt for any noisy holiday nights.

  • Jessie is pumped about the new Thrive Market clean wines + Gerard gets on board with the sustainable meat + seafood section!

  • Sadie’s anxiety started with Summer fireworks, but we’re hoping that it stops at the infamous attack of our air conditioning unit.

  • The Peppers try to decide if electricity can scramble someone’s mental health. Are there any scientists in the audience who would like to weigh in?

  • Jessie shares about her struggles with anxiety + depression and wants the Gang to know that they can find hope in healing. Three things that have helped with her own personal progress: Studying self awareness, designing her life around alignment, and embracing spirituality in a wholehearted way.

  • Please be careful of adverse reactions in pet vaccines! This has happened to us twice, and thankfully never resulted in the loss of any furbabies. (A related warning to our local friends: Don’t EVER take your animals to the Long Beach ER Vet on PCH + Ximeno.)

  • Jessie’s new Amazon-fueled guilty pleasures: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and sugar-free dark chocolate chips.

  • A Henri Nouwen quote that is encouraging us this week: “As soon as we feel at home in our own house, discovering the dark corners as well as the light spots, the closed doors as well as the drafty rooms, our confusion will evaporate and our anxiety will diminish and we will then become capable of creative work.” -- From The Wounded Healer.

  • The podcast Jen Gotch is OK… Sometimes is a great resource if you’d like to listen to someone share their personal experience, and she also gives tons of info and resources about mental health.

  • For anyone who’s been told, “If you’re sad, just pray about it,” we are here to assure you that God is fully ready and willing to sit with you in your pain. Jessie has taken a deep look at how her sense of spirituality helps her operate in the world, and this approach has made a significant difference in her overall wellbeing.

  • Gerard describes his experience of worry and stress and how they both pertain to his own emotions. There are distinct differences between anxiety and depression, especially when it comes to clinical and situational settings.

  • Knowing how to support your partner during a difficult time is the key to pulling through the depths together, in one piece. Jessie learns that her attempt at coaching Gerard is not always well-received, so The Peppers get honest about what either one wants when they happen to be feeling low.

  • Jessie is a big fan of practicing gratitude daily and has evidence to show as to why it helps keep anxiety at bay. TLDR: Filling your brain with good stuff will leave less room for the things that brings you stress.

  • This week’s MIF Mailbag highlights a listener question about how to support your spouse during a bout of depression… Gerard relies on something that we call “redirection” and it’s become a very effective tool to help pull someone out of a funk.

  • Distraction Disclaimer: This is not the same as avoiding or ignoring your problems, and it’s far more about giving the other person the choice to get pulled out of their “well” as you help them climb up to safety.

  • The bottom line is that asking your partner, “What do you need in this moment?” is often the best way to find out which way to go next.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

1.) Do you ever get sympathy pains when your partner is uncomfortable?

2.) Have you ever tried a gratitude practice? Do you believe that it would help you in a moment of stress?

3.) What do you typically want or need from your spouse when you’re feeling down in the dumps?

Rule 030 | Gulping Your Drink Will Get You In Trouble Every Time

Jessie + Gerard are officially inviting YOU to come on vacation with us in April! We’re taking some listeners to Puerto Vallarta next month, and we can already tell that it is going to be EPIC.

The Peppers break their own rule from Episode 004 by deciding to air their dirty laundry secrets. When it comes to fighting stains, Gerard is a sneaky son of a bleach, and Jessie turns a little crazy when she hears tiny sounds. The misophonia struggle is real at Casa de Pepper, and this couple learns that desperate times call for desperate drinking measures.

QUICK BITES:

  • Thank you so much for sharing this show with your friends! We’re hovering amidst the iTunes recommended section for our category, and it’s all because of you.
     
  • Vacation with us in Mexico next month! We have room for two more couples on the Great Love Getaway… Grab your sweetie and come hang out with us in the sun.
     
  • Gerard breaks the rule from Episode 004 and decides to revive the secret deleted content.
     
  • Jessie is a wuss and refuses to use bleach on her clothes.
     
  • You didn’t want the free steak knives from Episode 011 so we didn’t bother asking if you wanted a free microwave too.
     
  • Did you know there are over 300 different colors of white paint? Pretty sure we’ve sampled them all at our local Home Depot.
     
  • Gerard happens to be brilliant at stain removal, but Jessie finally uncovers his ulterior motives (while he figures out a way to expose her torso).
     
  • Jessie is plagued by the hatred of sound -- Otherwise known as Misophonia.
     
  • The Peppers discuss how this sensitivity plays out in their day to day, but are encouraged by the disorder's exposure in a documentary called Quiet Please (and this conversation between the creator and our friend Jessica Mernane).
     
  • Let's all just be thankful that Sadie's puppy-snores do not affect her parents.
     
  • Jessie gives up gum to avoid getting in trouble, and offers to glue Gerard’s feet together to keep him from fidgeting.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Have you or your partner ever ruined a load of the other person's laundry?
     
  2. What is your least favorite sound in the entire world?
     
  3. Which person would be better at picking out the perfect white paint color?

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Rule 002 | Always Keep Your Partner’s Favorite Mood Music On Hand

In episode two, we share our thoughts on the topics of well-placed silence + mis-matched last names. Living in a noisy city can have it’s downsides, but not many sounds are worse than a co-worker cutting his or her toenails at their desk. (EW!) After learning about a disorder called Misophonia from a noise-averse friend, Jessie quickly self-diagnoses herself to justify the inappropriate irritation she feels from minor day-to-day noises.

We discuss our “bedroom playlist” preferences for the first time, and invent an app that will make it easier to "turn something on" at a moments notice. While the differences between evenings with an introvert and an extrovert are considered, a third member of the family is introduced -- Hi, Joey! 

Gerard wants to figure out why people won't get over Jessie’s last name, and he finally admits to embracing his secret alter ego. We come clean about the story behind naming our podcast, and you'll hear a glimpse at how The Peppers first came to be.

References: The Todd Glass Show, Pete Holmes talking with Richard Rohr on You Made it Weird, One Part Plant by Jessica Mernane, The Meyers-Briggs Foundation, Jessie’s fashion and lifestyle blog called Style + Pepper, Being Boss Facebook group

QUICK BITES:

  • Pretty obsessed with podcasts. G loves these guys, and Jessie is hooked on way too many to name. (Ok, fine: Rob Bell's Robcast, Start Up, The Longest Shortest Time, The Lively Show, The Good Life Project, Being Boss, After the Jump, and the list goes on.)

  • Jessie slows down her super-speed listening when the words are extra special. (Richard Rohr + Pete Holmes even got a second listen!)

  • Misophonia is not the fear of ordering soup at a sushi restaurant, but might explain why you want to walk around with marshmallows in your ears.

  • Silence is sometimes a good thing, but we prefer music during dinner. And sex. We’ve learned that the same tunes often work well for both.

  • A killer idea for an app is invented. Stay tuned and (hopefully) you'll thank us later. 

  • Introversion vs. extraversion on a typical weeknight. Can you guess which one of us is which?

  • Gerard is perplexed by how many people are fascinated with our different last names. Specifically, our dry cleaning delivery guy.

  • We share the story behind how we became The Peppers. It involves a bit of style, and some self-discovery from Gerard.

  • Crowdsourcing some responses by checking in on social media... Send a request to join our facebook group and be sure to follow @meetthepeppers on social media!

  • Sharing several super-creative last-name stories from fellow fans of the podcast, Being Boss. (A must listen for any creative entrepreneur!)

Trigger Questions:

  • What is your absolute least favorite noise in the entire world?

  • What is the first thing that comes to mind when you meet a woman who has kept her maiden name?

  • When was the last time you experienced complete silence? Did it make you feel relief or discomfort?

Take a stab at answering the above, and we'll chat about it right over here!