Lifestyle Design

Rule 073 | Sympathy Pains Can Lead To Sympathy Problems

ep 073 sympathy pains a.jpg

This week, Gerard + Jessie learn that sympathy pains can extend from partner to partner, as well as from person to pet. Appliance anxiety causes destruction at Casa de Pepper and the whole family is shocked that no one actually got shocked. Depression isn’t always easy to talk about, but it’s important to tell your spouse how you feel for the sake of boosting the overall (mental) health of the marriage.

Thanks to PrepDish, Thrive Market + Amazon for making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head to our site for more info about how to support the show.


QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie and Sadie suffer from sympathy pains in everything from back pain to misophonia to general anxiety.

  • We are trying to figure out the best ways to keep our girl calm, and these herbal pills and CBD drops are starting to help. We loved this podcast episode about separation anxiety and are thinking about getting Sadie a thundershirt for any noisy holiday nights.

  • Jessie is pumped about the new Thrive Market clean wines + Gerard gets on board with the sustainable meat + seafood section!

  • Sadie’s anxiety started with Summer fireworks, but we’re hoping that it stops at the infamous attack of our air conditioning unit.

  • The Peppers try to decide if electricity can scramble someone’s mental health. Are there any scientists in the audience who would like to weigh in?

  • Jessie shares about her struggles with anxiety + depression and wants the Gang to know that they can find hope in healing. Three things that have helped with her own personal progress: Studying self awareness, designing her life around alignment, and embracing spirituality in a wholehearted way.

  • Please be careful of adverse reactions in pet vaccines! This has happened to us twice, and thankfully never resulted in the loss of any furbabies. (A related warning to our local friends: Don’t EVER take your animals to the Long Beach ER Vet on PCH + Ximeno.)

  • Jessie’s new Amazon-fueled guilty pleasures: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and sugar-free dark chocolate chips.

  • A Henri Nouwen quote that is encouraging us this week: “As soon as we feel at home in our own house, discovering the dark corners as well as the light spots, the closed doors as well as the drafty rooms, our confusion will evaporate and our anxiety will diminish and we will then become capable of creative work.” -- From The Wounded Healer.

  • The podcast Jen Gotch is OK… Sometimes is a great resource if you’d like to listen to someone share their personal experience, and she also gives tons of info and resources about mental health.

  • For anyone who’s been told, “If you’re sad, just pray about it,” we are here to assure you that God is fully ready and willing to sit with you in your pain. Jessie has taken a deep look at how her sense of spirituality helps her operate in the world, and this approach has made a significant difference in her overall wellbeing.

  • Gerard describes his experience of worry and stress and how they both pertain to his own emotions. There are distinct differences between anxiety and depression, especially when it comes to clinical and situational settings.

  • Knowing how to support your partner during a difficult time is the key to pulling through the depths together, in one piece. Jessie learns that her attempt at coaching Gerard is not always well-received, so The Peppers get honest about what either one wants when they happen to be feeling low.

  • Jessie is a big fan of practicing gratitude daily and has evidence to show as to why it helps keep anxiety at bay. TLDR: Filling your brain with good stuff will leave less room for the things that brings you stress.

  • This week’s MIF Mailbag highlights a listener question about how to support your spouse during a bout of depression… Gerard relies on something that we call “redirection” and it’s become a very effective tool to help pull someone out of a funk.

  • Distraction Disclaimer: This is not the same as avoiding or ignoring your problems, and it’s far more about giving the other person the choice to get pulled out of their “well” as you help them climb up to safety.

  • The bottom line is that asking your partner, “What do you need in this moment?” is often the best way to find out which way to go next.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

1.) Do you ever get sympathy pains when your partner is uncomfortable?

2.) Have you ever tried a gratitude practice? Do you believe that it would help you in a moment of stress?

3.) What do you typically want or need from your spouse when you’re feeling down in the dumps?

Rule 023 | There Is No Such Thing As A Free Date

The Peppers learn that leaving your wallet at home when you go to the flea market is a lot like working an 80-hour week... Either way, your wife's definitely going to find a way to b*tch about it.

QUICK BITES:

  • An update on our budget-building drama... Three words: store brand pickles.
     
  • The FB group exploded with suggestions and ideas for managing personal finances! Hop over there to learn and share your own.
     
  • Financial Goals for The Peppers: Building up our emergency fund, buy Jessie a pair of rollerblades (because G already got his new belt), and start saving up for The Great Love Getaway.
     
  • Join in the conversation by tweeting at us while you listen!
     
  • Jessie made a special present to commemorate a random anniversary... Get your reminder of Great Love over at meetthepeppers.com.
     
  • Gerard wants to go to the Flea Market, and Jessie shoots him down because she has no self control. (Get caught up by listening in on our budget discussion in Episode 22.) 
     
  • Jessie is on the hunt for the perfect new coffee table, an antique watch, and a handful of other things… ADD ‘EM TO THE WISHLIST.
     
  • Coffee-shopping might soon become the most romantic moment of our week.
     
  • Jessie checks in with Gerard about his busy week, and is surprised to find herself feeling a little bit stung.
     
  • Gerard is learning to balance client work and self-care. It's much harder to get used to than he thought it would be.
     
  • We changed our lives after reading The 4-Hour Work Week a few years ago, but based on the current situation -- It might be time for a little refresher.
     
  • Jessie's admits to how her recent business changes have made her crave the career momentum she's used to.
     
  • The Peppers are reminded of the main reason they call the West Coast "The Best Coast" and Gerard gets angry (and curses!) for the very first time on the show.

We're pumped to invite you to join us on the Great Love Getaway! SAVE THE DATE for April 7-10 of 2016, and get excited by grabbing one of our new goodies right here.  
 

TRIGGER QUESTOINS:

  • Re-tell the story of your first kiss and share us with it here!
     
  • What would your DREAM DATE be if money were no object? 
     
  • Do you or your partner ever feel burned-out in your jobs? How does the other person react when that happens?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

 

Rule 007 | Putting On A Bikini Is the Best Way to Cheer Up A Crying Husband

The Peppers are pro-bikini, but there are plenty of folks out there who might disagree. Jessie + Gerard open up about how body image affects their marriage, and why the idea of modesty means something different to so many people. Gerard is reminded that we are blessed to be a blessing, and realizes that being a bi-vocational pastor is more ingrained in his life than he originally thought.

QUICK NOTES:

  • We survived Gerard’s family reunion at the lake, and there were no less than 19 references to thinly sliced deli meat throughout the entire weekend.
  • Huge thanks to everyone who has already shared their feedback for the show! We love hearing your thoughts, so keep 'em coming and feel free to leave us a review on iTunes in order to help us reach more wonderful humans.
  • Jessie has been popping up on a few other podcasts around the web this month: Listen to her chat about life as a creative entrepreneur on Dave Conrey’s Fresh Rag + making money online on The Lively Show.
  • The burden of how to wear a cute bathing suit without sinning. (Struggle’s real, y’all.)
  • Does showing too much skin in public take away from the mystery of intimate moments? Depends on the duo, apparently.
  • Modest musings, “mixed bathing” + making waves with an old rope.
  • Self-doubt is something that swims throughout both of our brains, but we hadn't talked about it until this episode.
  • Gerard almost gets punched for having a high metabolism.
  • Jessie shares her commitment to the mantra,“I am His,” and the two talk about what it means to embrace such a generous gift.
  • Do us a favor? Tell your partner how attractive they are to you. Right now.
  • Self-tanner is Jessie’s #1 tip for rocking a bathing suit with confidence.
  • Gerard’s lack of movement within his call to ministry is making him feel a bit bummed out. 
  • Metaphors about wells + pitchers + muscles (oh my!) are inspiring us to feel less stagnant as we pursue our purposes.
  • Jessie officially accepts Gerard as her latest lifestyle design client. She plans to promptly invoice him for the last eight years, and unfortunately does not offer a family discount.
  • If you ever feel like your purpose in life is not being realized, take stock of what the pursuit of that really means, and then find simple ways to embrace it everyday.
  • Passing the kleenex box and putting on a bikini are the best ways to cheer up a crying husband. You’re welcome. ;)

TRIGGER QUESTIONS: 

  • Does your spouse have a preference on how much skin you show in public? How does this affect your decisions on getting dressed?
  • What do you NEED from your partner this week? Be honest!
  • Share some of the actions that make you feel most fulfilled, and talk about how to work them in to your day-to-day life.