Pets

Rule 073 | Sympathy Pains Can Lead To Sympathy Problems

ep 073 sympathy pains a.jpg

This week, Gerard + Jessie learn that sympathy pains can extend from partner to partner, as well as from person to pet. Appliance anxiety causes destruction at Casa de Pepper and the whole family is shocked that no one actually got shocked. Depression isn’t always easy to talk about, but it’s important to tell your spouse how you feel for the sake of boosting the overall (mental) health of the marriage.

Thanks to PrepDish, Thrive Market + Amazon for making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head to our site for more info about how to support the show.


QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie and Sadie suffer from sympathy pains in everything from back pain to misophonia to general anxiety.

  • We are trying to figure out the best ways to keep our girl calm, and these herbal pills and CBD drops are starting to help. We loved this podcast episode about separation anxiety and are thinking about getting Sadie a thundershirt for any noisy holiday nights.

  • Jessie is pumped about the new Thrive Market clean wines + Gerard gets on board with the sustainable meat + seafood section!

  • Sadie’s anxiety started with Summer fireworks, but we’re hoping that it stops at the infamous attack of our air conditioning unit.

  • The Peppers try to decide if electricity can scramble someone’s mental health. Are there any scientists in the audience who would like to weigh in?

  • Jessie shares about her struggles with anxiety + depression and wants the Gang to know that they can find hope in healing. Three things that have helped with her own personal progress: Studying self awareness, designing her life around alignment, and embracing spirituality in a wholehearted way.

  • Please be careful of adverse reactions in pet vaccines! This has happened to us twice, and thankfully never resulted in the loss of any furbabies. (A related warning to our local friends: Don’t EVER take your animals to the Long Beach ER Vet on PCH + Ximeno.)

  • Jessie’s new Amazon-fueled guilty pleasures: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and sugar-free dark chocolate chips.

  • A Henri Nouwen quote that is encouraging us this week: “As soon as we feel at home in our own house, discovering the dark corners as well as the light spots, the closed doors as well as the drafty rooms, our confusion will evaporate and our anxiety will diminish and we will then become capable of creative work.” -- From The Wounded Healer.

  • The podcast Jen Gotch is OK… Sometimes is a great resource if you’d like to listen to someone share their personal experience, and she also gives tons of info and resources about mental health.

  • For anyone who’s been told, “If you’re sad, just pray about it,” we are here to assure you that God is fully ready and willing to sit with you in your pain. Jessie has taken a deep look at how her sense of spirituality helps her operate in the world, and this approach has made a significant difference in her overall wellbeing.

  • Gerard describes his experience of worry and stress and how they both pertain to his own emotions. There are distinct differences between anxiety and depression, especially when it comes to clinical and situational settings.

  • Knowing how to support your partner during a difficult time is the key to pulling through the depths together, in one piece. Jessie learns that her attempt at coaching Gerard is not always well-received, so The Peppers get honest about what either one wants when they happen to be feeling low.

  • Jessie is a big fan of practicing gratitude daily and has evidence to show as to why it helps keep anxiety at bay. TLDR: Filling your brain with good stuff will leave less room for the things that brings you stress.

  • This week’s MIF Mailbag highlights a listener question about how to support your spouse during a bout of depression… Gerard relies on something that we call “redirection” and it’s become a very effective tool to help pull someone out of a funk.

  • Distraction Disclaimer: This is not the same as avoiding or ignoring your problems, and it’s far more about giving the other person the choice to get pulled out of their “well” as you help them climb up to safety.

  • The bottom line is that asking your partner, “What do you need in this moment?” is often the best way to find out which way to go next.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

1.) Do you ever get sympathy pains when your partner is uncomfortable?

2.) Have you ever tried a gratitude practice? Do you believe that it would help you in a moment of stress?

3.) What do you typically want or need from your spouse when you’re feeling down in the dumps?

Rule 046 | Don't Let The Dog On The Duvet

*Thankfully, Gerard was ONLY sick when we recorded the intro for this one... Hang in there for the first few minutes, and you’ll be past the nasally voice in no time.*

This week, we consider the opposing values of puppy cuddle time vs. perfectly clean sheets. Gerard gets excited about hopping back on stage to play the bass in a band, and The Peppers discuss pros and cons of pursuing distinctly separate hobbies.

Share your feedback with us by leaving a review on iTunes and find out how you can support our mission of Great Love right over here


QUICK BITES:

  • Listen to Episode 36 to find out why The Peppers are not currently sleeping in the same bed.

  • Sadie Mae reminds us of Slinky Dog in the Toy Story movies… Family Halloween costume idea, perhaps?

  • The fan we wish we had, and the fan we would NOT recommend are both proof of why we should ALWAYS listen to Cameron -- our friendly guy at the local Home Depot.

  • The Santa Ana winds have us sweating during dinner, and we’re left daydreaming about an AC unit that fits on our super-old windows.

  • Gerard’s concern with dog-hair splinters makes Jessie break down and agree he needs to wear his stylish Birkenstocks more often. 

  • Jessie realizes that she should take full advantage of the chance to shop for her faves at West Elm and CB2.

  • In case you're curious about our favorite white sheets... (They're durable, affordable, made from organic cotton, and easy to order online!)

  • We would do pretty much anything for our precious furry daughter… Find out why we aren’t parents by listening to Episode 40.

  • A sneak peek at our cheap gray coverlet will give you a glimpse at why we don’t care when our dog jumps on it for a snuggle.

  • Gerard gets schooled in the anatomy of a well-layered bed and then admits to one of his biggest fears that has us buying lint-rollers in bulk.

  • Jessie busts out into song while Gerard hums the bass… And now we both need to beg your eardrums for forgiveness.

  • Gerard gets excited about getting back up on stage to play his bass, and we both see the benefits of having distinctly separate hobbies... Listen to us chat about the benefits of having SHARED hobbies back in Episode 41.

  • Jessie is attracted to Gerard in spite of his (adorable) chocolate-chip-cookie-gut, and admits that being married to a musician is certainly something that counts as a turn-on.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Do you sleep with your pet(s) in the same bed? Have both partners always had the same preference about this decision?
     
  2. Can you come up with at least one way to encourage (or actually make it possible for) your spouse to pursue one of their own personal hobbies?
     
  3. What was one of the very first things that you can remember being attracted to about your sweetie pie?

Come say hello to the Great Love Gang on facebook, and we'd LOVE to have you share this show with your favorite husbands and wives. 

Don't forget to tag us in your #marriageisfunny moments on twitter and instagram

Rule 040 | Custom Domain Names Make Horrible Baby Gifts

This episode is a long-awaited answer to the most frequently asked question of our entire podcast... Why the heck don't The Peppers have any kids?! Jessie's little brother stops in as our special guest, and he keeps us both in line as the emotions start to flow.

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!
 

QUICK BITES: 

  • You might remember our special guest from last season when he crashed our closet in NYC, and promptly divulged the story behind one of our dirtiest fights.

  • Jessie tries to be nice when people ask her about having kids, but it’s usually way too tempting to pull out the smart-assery instead.

  • Gerard gets annoyed when people make assumptions about our decision, but Joey reminds us that excitement loves company.

  • The Peppers would have to start sleeping in the same bed again if they had to make room for a nursery.

  • Pre-engagement counseling (yes, that is a thing) was the moment we realized that we saw eye to eye about starting a family.

  • Jessie is worried that her grandmotherly daydreams are never going to happen, but Gerard reassures her that he’ll always be around to pluck her chin hairs.

  • Both sets of our parents have been incredibly understanding about the decision not to have kids, but their own friends have not stopped trying to force the issue.

  • Gerard makes the clear distinction between a decision and a diagnosis.

  • Jessie loses her shit over losing dear friends over such a decisive choice.

  • The Peppers insist that they love hosting families as Casa de Pepper, but parents are better off bringing sippie cups and outlet covers since the baby-proofing has yet to happen.

  • Gerard’s top two celebrity crushes have a baby together, and the wife’s outlook on kids has given Jessie permission to embrace the feeling of a complete family.

  • A shocking admission at the end of the show leaves both Jessie + G with a ton of resolve towards our desire to bless and nurture others.  

 

LOOKING FOR OTHER WAYS TO MAKE AN IMPACT?

The Great Love Gang has shared so many wonderful resources with us over in the Facebook group, and we would love to pass along some of the many ways that YOU can make an impact on the lives of children and families who need extra guidance and support:

  • Impacting Hearts - Weekly mentorship for children currently living in a foster home. (Los Angeles / Orange County)
  • Safe Families - Short term foster care and family assistance. (70 US Cities)
  • CASA - An organization that connects volunteers with at-risk youth who need the constant adult presence that many of them lack. (49 US states)
  • Buckner International - Volunteer opportunities for four different types of family ministries. (Texas + Abroad)
  • The Call - Connecting foster care and adoptive families to children in need. (Arkansas)
  • AdoptUS Kids - Raising public awareness and providing resources for both states and families who are hoping to adopt or foster children.
     

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What is your opinion on how much or how little some parents share of their kids online?
     
  2. Regardless of whether or not you are a parent now, can you remember visualizing yourself as a mom or dad when you were little?
     
  3. Have you ever lost a friend because of the addition of kids? (Either yours or theirs.) How did this happen and how did it make you feel?

We're celebrating the official start of summer AND the end of Season Two at our finale party on May 29th!  

Find out how to join us right here and we would LOVE to see you then. 

Rule 032 | Separate Closets Are The Key To A Happy Marriage

You might already know our guests Damien + Grasie from their pop-culture status, but The Peppers simply know them as a couple of fun friends who are always loaded with laughs. Listen in as Jessie + Gerard chat with them about improv comedy, mischievous cats, and that one time when Damien got mad enough to throw a chair. 

CONNECT WITH THE DUO ONLINE:

Find Damien on Twitter / Snapchat / Instagram - @damienfahey
Find Grasie on Instagram / Snapchat / Twitter - @grasiemercedes
(+ be sure to check out her style blog for endless amounts of inspiration!)

Don't Forget: We are headed on vacation together in April and we want YOU to come with us! A group of our fabulous listeners are joining us in Puerto Vallarta next month, and we can already tell that it is going to be EPIC... We have room for just one more couple, so snag your spot and let's hit the beach.

QUICK BITES: 

  • The fun in the FB group included words from Mark the mailman, a fairy-godcouple that sent us on our flea market date, and FINALLY the recipe for Jessie's eggplant tacos.
     
  • Save the Date for our big party in Long Beach on May 29th! The Peppers will be celebrating the wrap of Season Two, and we can't wait kick off the summer together. 
     
  • Damien tells us what it's like to always and forever be "The MTV Guy." (Among other things!)
     
  • Consider this a friendly reminder that your husband might be funnier on twitter than he is in real life.
     
  • Being coupled-up has given this pair a serious advantage on the comedy stage. (More proof of our theory that things are better when we're together!)
     
  • This duo AND their friend Dave Holmes recommend iOWest for improv classes in LA.
     
  • The Faheys biggest fight involved a chair being thrown. But other than that, they hardly ever argue...
     
  • A neo-neat-freak admits she has a problem, and that is the first step. 
     
  • The secret to a happy marriage is most definitely keeping separate closets.
     
  • The collective form of the word "MY" applies to parents, weddings, bedrooms and favorite pets.
     
  • Cats are nearly impossible to control. Cute as they may be, having one at home is not for the faint of heart.
 
Dakota The Narcoleptic Cat

Dakota The Narcoleptic Cat

 
  • The Peppers share about how their first kitten ruined their first Christmas and simultaneously made them an official "dog family."
     
  • Family frames of reference can have a huge impact on marriage roles, and both couples have let strong connections with their parents be a part of their kitchen duties.
     
  • Snapchat Husband Shaming has to be a thing. Is it a thing?
     
  • Art imitates life when Peter + Lois fight for the toaster.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. If you had to choose one, would you be on Team Dog or Team Cat?
     
  2. Have you ever secretly (or not so secretly) re-done a household chore because you didn't like how your partner did it the first time?
     
  3. Can you think of a time when you have ever felt competitive towards your spouse? (Creatively, professionally, playfully, etc.)

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 030 | Gulping Your Drink Will Get You In Trouble Every Time

Jessie + Gerard are officially inviting YOU to come on vacation with us in April! We’re taking some listeners to Puerto Vallarta next month, and we can already tell that it is going to be EPIC.

The Peppers break their own rule from Episode 004 by deciding to air their dirty laundry secrets. When it comes to fighting stains, Gerard is a sneaky son of a bleach, and Jessie turns a little crazy when she hears tiny sounds. The misophonia struggle is real at Casa de Pepper, and this couple learns that desperate times call for desperate drinking measures.

QUICK BITES:

  • Thank you so much for sharing this show with your friends! We’re hovering amidst the iTunes recommended section for our category, and it’s all because of you.
     
  • Vacation with us in Mexico next month! We have room for two more couples on the Great Love Getaway… Grab your sweetie and come hang out with us in the sun.
     
  • Gerard breaks the rule from Episode 004 and decides to revive the secret deleted content.
     
  • Jessie is a wuss and refuses to use bleach on her clothes.
     
  • You didn’t want the free steak knives from Episode 011 so we didn’t bother asking if you wanted a free microwave too.
     
  • Did you know there are over 300 different colors of white paint? Pretty sure we’ve sampled them all at our local Home Depot.
     
  • Gerard happens to be brilliant at stain removal, but Jessie finally uncovers his ulterior motives (while he figures out a way to expose her torso).
     
  • Jessie is plagued by the hatred of sound -- Otherwise known as Misophonia.
     
  • The Peppers discuss how this sensitivity plays out in their day to day, but are encouraged by the disorder's exposure in a documentary called Quiet Please (and this conversation between the creator and our friend Jessica Mernane).
     
  • Let's all just be thankful that Sadie's puppy-snores do not affect her parents.
     
  • Jessie gives up gum to avoid getting in trouble, and offers to glue Gerard’s feet together to keep him from fidgeting.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Have you or your partner ever ruined a load of the other person's laundry?
     
  2. What is your least favorite sound in the entire world?
     
  3. Which person would be better at picking out the perfect white paint color?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 021 | You Don't Need An Excuse To Throw A Big Party

Rule 21 Party Time.jpg

We're back and we missed you guys more than you know! It's finally time for Season Two, and there are a lot of reasons to party so we're diving right in.

Be sure to listen for our very special guests, and we're sending big bear hugs to the dear friends who are helping us celebrate this week:

QUICK BITES:

  • Would you ever have guessed the most requested topic of all time? Jessie spills the beans and then promises to talk about kiddos in the near future.
     
  • Our Great Love Getaway is coming in Spring 2016! Sign up at meetthepeppers.com to be the first to know about dates and details.
     
  • We finally found a place to live and are loving our little bungalow in Long Beach (especially because the owner has turned out to be our fairy landlordmother). Back in Episode #5, we talk about how it never hurts to ask for a price cut, and recently had a big win by following one of our own rules.
     
  • Gerard has started traveling a lot more with his new job, and Jessie is getting used to being home alone with nothing but reality TV and a queen-size bed to keep her company. #heavenonearth
     
  • Our trip to Guatemala with Unbound.org was a huge blessing, but Jessie’s animal-arch-nemesis kept crawling right up and creeping her out.
     
  • Gerard brags on Jessie for finishing her first triathlon, and then calls her out for waiting to learn her road bike until the last minute.
     
  • Sadie gets major surgery and we end up learning what it’s (probably) like to take care of a drunken toddler.
     
  • Gerard admits to getting 7 bottles of fancy liquor in his Christmas stocking. (Thanks, Santa!)
     
  • Hosting big parties make the Peppers happy, so we use Epiphany as an excuse to throw the biggest bash of the year.
     
  • Gerard is obsessed with ambiance and has learned everything he knows from party expert (and comedian) Todd Glass.
     
  • More backstory (and unexpected challenges) from the wacky costume party that we talked about in Episode 20.
     
  • Jessie’s friend Erin created a helpful guide to use as the day-of timeline for a big party
     
  • Gerard shares the traditional meaning behind why we celebrate the ancient holiday of Epiphany. Prepare yourself for a little preaching.
     
  • Our special guests weigh in on the following prompts:
    • What does Great Love look like within your own marriage?
    • What is it about your partner that makes you better together?
    • What makes up the right mix for your own marriage recipe?

 

Trigger Questions:

  • Which is more embarrassing: Accidentally showing up to a dinner party an hour early or an hour late?
     
  • What songs were your favorite additions to the dance jams of 2015?  
     
  • Describe your idea of the perfect "party ambiance"... Do you and your partner have differing views?

 

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and keep in touch by joining us in the private Facebook group!

Rule 017 | Don't Get A Puppy Unless You're Ready To Be A Parent

rule017

The Peppers are in the middle of their On The Road tour, and this episode comes to you from the basement of some of their gracious hosts. Gerard tells Jessie he wants to add another member to the family, but she explains why she's not so ready. They discuss how co-hosting a podcast about marriage has impacted their own life, and agree that taking a quick break in the fall will give them a chance to get caught up on creating season two.
 

QUICK BITES:

  • Many thanks to our generous hosts and the listeners who’ve come out to support us so far! BIG extra-special bear hugs go to...
    • Erin + Matt for giving us a gorgeous place to stay and serving up a beautiful spread for the first event of the tour
    • Allie + Adam for letting us gather in their creative space in Columbus
    • Chris + Sarah for opening up their home in Grand Rapids and throwing a backyard BBQ to celebrate the end of summer
    • Merl + Bobby for sharing a place to rest our heads AND a lovely studio to host a handful of the sweetest Chicago listeners
       
  • Special thanks to Sprint for helping to make our On The Road tour possible! Be sure to check out the special highlights of our trip that we're sharing over on their feed, and follow along with styleandpepper on snapchat for more fun clips of our behind the scenes. ;)
     
  • Don't forget: you can find our full tour details right here... We'd love to meet you, so come out and hug us if you dare!
     

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  • If you could live out of any vehicle (while driving across the country) for three weeks, what would it be and why?
  • Does your own family currently seem complete? What would it take to make it feel that way?
  • What topics would you cover if you had your own podcast?