Bedroom

Rule 046 | Don't Let The Dog On The Duvet

*Thankfully, Gerard was ONLY sick when we recorded the intro for this one... Hang in there for the first few minutes, and you’ll be past the nasally voice in no time.*

This week, we consider the opposing values of puppy cuddle time vs. perfectly clean sheets. Gerard gets excited about hopping back on stage to play the bass in a band, and The Peppers discuss pros and cons of pursuing distinctly separate hobbies.

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QUICK BITES:

  • Listen to Episode 36 to find out why The Peppers are not currently sleeping in the same bed.

  • Sadie Mae reminds us of Slinky Dog in the Toy Story movies… Family Halloween costume idea, perhaps?

  • The fan we wish we had, and the fan we would NOT recommend are both proof of why we should ALWAYS listen to Cameron -- our friendly guy at the local Home Depot.

  • The Santa Ana winds have us sweating during dinner, and we’re left daydreaming about an AC unit that fits on our super-old windows.

  • Gerard’s concern with dog-hair splinters makes Jessie break down and agree he needs to wear his stylish Birkenstocks more often. 

  • Jessie realizes that she should take full advantage of the chance to shop for her faves at West Elm and CB2.

  • In case you're curious about our favorite white sheets... (They're durable, affordable, made from organic cotton, and easy to order online!)

  • We would do pretty much anything for our precious furry daughter… Find out why we aren’t parents by listening to Episode 40.

  • A sneak peek at our cheap gray coverlet will give you a glimpse at why we don’t care when our dog jumps on it for a snuggle.

  • Gerard gets schooled in the anatomy of a well-layered bed and then admits to one of his biggest fears that has us buying lint-rollers in bulk.

  • Jessie busts out into song while Gerard hums the bass… And now we both need to beg your eardrums for forgiveness.

  • Gerard gets excited about getting back up on stage to play his bass, and we both see the benefits of having distinctly separate hobbies... Listen to us chat about the benefits of having SHARED hobbies back in Episode 41.

  • Jessie is attracted to Gerard in spite of his (adorable) chocolate-chip-cookie-gut, and admits that being married to a musician is certainly something that counts as a turn-on.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Do you sleep with your pet(s) in the same bed? Have both partners always had the same preference about this decision?
     
  2. Can you come up with at least one way to encourage (or actually make it possible for) your spouse to pursue one of their own personal hobbies?
     
  3. What was one of the very first things that you can remember being attracted to about your sweetie pie?

Come say hello to the Great Love Gang on facebook, and we'd LOVE to have you share this show with your favorite husbands and wives. 

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Rule 039.5 | Talking About Sex Makes It Even Better (Part II)

Part II of the sex series on Marriage is Funny! Gerard and Jessie share their thoughts on important things like abstinence, foreplay, and experimenting in the bedroom. The Peppers are joined by expert Kate McCombs, and her wisdom continues to inspire the Great Love Gang to be more intentional toward intimacy. (Be sure to listen to Episode 39 for Part I with Kate!)

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

QUICK BITES:

  • Q1: My husband says he isn’t a kissing guy, but I need foreplay in order to have sex. How can I fulfill his needs without making him do something that he doesn’t want to do?

  • Cooking is like sex. Creativity and variety are two ways to be very good at it.

  • AASECT.org is a great resource for finding a sex therapist that you can visit with your partner.

  • Jessie’s adventures in finding a counselor continue to be entertaining. (You may notice that Ep 9 in Season One is starting to sound familiar.)

  • Q2: How can we build up more courage in the bedroom? Is there an easy way to tell my partner I think they are boring in bed?

  • Creating a “sex lab” could be the best way to start experimenting in the bedroom... Check out Kate's article about how to set the mood in your own home.

  • Q3: Is there a right way or a wrong way to suggest the use of toys and tools?

  • Never break the laws of bad sexual etiquette... The pleasure of your partner matters just as much as your own.

  • Gerard and Jessie were sure to park in the back when they drove to the sex shop in Episode 20.

  • Q4: What do I do when my husband wants it and I don’t? Is faking it ok?

  • It’s important to tell our partners exactly when and how they’ve blessed us in order to build up their "cushion" when times are good.

  • Q5: How can I initiate sex when I know my partner doesn’t feel like it?

  • Kate explains the difference between justification vs clarification when it comes to turning down your partner when they’re making a move.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What is the most surprising thing that your partner has ever done in bed?
  2. When was the last time you talked to your partner about sex? When was the last time you talked to someone besides your partner about sex?
  3. What was the most intimate moment that you had with your partner this week?

We're celebrating the official start of summer AND the end of Season Two at our finale party on May 29th!  

Find out how to join us right here and we would LOVE to see you then. 

    Rule 039 | When In Doubt, Just Ask A Sexpert (Part I)

    This week, Jessie and Gerard are chatting with Sex & Relationships Expert, Kate McCombs. They excitedly pepper her with a handful of questions submitted by the Great Love Gang, but you'll also hear a tiny bit about their own intimacy adventures as well. (If you enjoy this conversation, be sure to subscribe to Marriage is Funny on your favorite podcast player, and listen in for Part II that will go live on Friday!)

    Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

    QUICK BITES:

    • You guys blew us away with your 70+ responses to our sex survey! Missed the chance to weigh in? Feel free to share your thoughts right here and we’ll do it again if there’s enough interest.
       
    • The Peppers are currently sleeping in separate beds, and Kate confirms that there’s nothing wrong with a good night’s rest.
       
    • Q1: How can a couple make time for sex when they both want it, but one (or both) partners feel tired or blah?
       
    • Kate (figuratively) drops the mic with a helpful tip about reframing the way you set up a sex date.
       
    • Gerard blurts out his own secret idea for how he setting the scene in order to get busy.
       
    • Q2: How can someone overcome the challenge of painful sex?
       
    • The best lube is made from Good Clean Love. (And that's probably the only thing about us that you’ve never wanted to know.)
       
    • Finding the right Dr. or physical therapist should be the first step towards treating painful sex… Check the National Vulvodynia Association to find a practitioner near you.
       
    • Q3: I like making love, but can rarely get myself to make the first move. How am I supposed to initiate sex when I never feel horny?
       
    • The book Come As You Are by Emily Nagaski is next up on The Peppers “to read” list.
       
    • Q4: I’m anxious about having sex, and we hardly do it anymore. How can I get back to actually craving physical intimacy with my husband (as much as I used to)?
       
    • Q5: How does hormonal birth control have an impact on a women’s libido?
       
    • Q6: What are some ways to try and reverse a low libido?
       
    • Q7: Is there any way to intensify a man’s orgasm?
       
    • Q8: How can my partner and I climax at the same time?
       
    • Kate confirms that eight out of every 10 women need clitoral stimulation in order to achieve an orgasm.
       
    • Jessie and Gerard read YOUR sex-related wish-list in a rapid fire succession.
       
    • In many cases, having a conversation about what you want out of sex can actually feel more intimate than actually having sex.
       
    • Q9: What are some ways we bring up sex with our partner without making things awkward.
       
    • Start small and share things that give you some context for your chats! Kate's website is a great resource and we love her rundown of how to add more empathy to your everyday. 

    TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

    1. Name one thing that tends to "press down on the brakes" of your sexual desire.
    2. What is your favorite (most optimal) time of the day to have sex?
    3. Describe your experience of sex-education (either at home or school) from when you were young.

    We're celebrating the official start of summer AND the end of Season Two at our finale party on May 29th!  

    Find out how to join us right here and we would LOVE to see you then. 

    Rule 036 | The Lifespan Of A Mattress Is Only Eight Years

    Jessie wants to experiment with sleeping in other beds, but Gerard cares more about earning reward points while doing it. The Peppers commit to filling their year with travel, and they both decide to be more intentional about tucking each other in at night.

    Hard to believe we're nearing the end of another season, but that means we're now accepting sponsors for Season Three of the show!

    Contact us directly for more info, and be sure to save the date for our finale party on May 29th.
     

    QUICK BITES:

    • Sharing so many of our favorite things this week, but no money has exchanged hands in the making of this episode.
       
    • Listen to Episodes 23 + 27 to catch up on Gerard’s crazy work schedule and frequent travel situation.
       
    • Jessie admits that there are many benefits to having the whole house to herself.
       
    • We’re still on a mission to get Lester Holt and his wife Carol on an episode of Marriage is Funny... Send him a tweet and let's swarm him with some social media love!
       
    • Jessie’s mornings begin with her fancy french press and a simpler version of this Rocket Fuel Latte.
       
    • Check out The Points Guy and find out how to earn a Southwest Companion Pass for free.
       
    • No cross-county tour for us this summer, but we ARE excited to pop around to a few of our favorite US cities! We want to hang out with you, so let us know if you'd like to host a little shindig.
       
    • Gerard packs his "whole shebang" in his killer travel set from Vessel.
       
    • No one is surprised that Jessie’s meticulous systems apply to her travel snacks as much as her regular eating schedule.
       
    • Tree-huggers will love the Make A Green Choice plan from all Starwood Hotels.
       
    • The conversation about separate beds is sure to ruffle a lot of feathers, but one thing we know for sure is that flipping over in a squishy bed is very inefficient.
       

    TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

    1. If you could fly with your partner to any place in the world for free, where would it be?
       
    2. Do you know any other couples who sleep in separate beds? Have you ever considered it?
       
    3. How do you usually pass the time on an airplane?

    Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

    Rule 030 | Gulping Your Drink Will Get You In Trouble Every Time

    Jessie + Gerard are officially inviting YOU to come on vacation with us in April! We’re taking some listeners to Puerto Vallarta next month, and we can already tell that it is going to be EPIC.

    The Peppers break their own rule from Episode 004 by deciding to air their dirty laundry secrets. When it comes to fighting stains, Gerard is a sneaky son of a bleach, and Jessie turns a little crazy when she hears tiny sounds. The misophonia struggle is real at Casa de Pepper, and this couple learns that desperate times call for desperate drinking measures.

    QUICK BITES:

    • Thank you so much for sharing this show with your friends! We’re hovering amidst the iTunes recommended section for our category, and it’s all because of you.
       
    • Vacation with us in Mexico next month! We have room for two more couples on the Great Love Getaway… Grab your sweetie and come hang out with us in the sun.
       
    • Gerard breaks the rule from Episode 004 and decides to revive the secret deleted content.
       
    • Jessie is a wuss and refuses to use bleach on her clothes.
       
    • You didn’t want the free steak knives from Episode 011 so we didn’t bother asking if you wanted a free microwave too.
       
    • Did you know there are over 300 different colors of white paint? Pretty sure we’ve sampled them all at our local Home Depot.
       
    • Gerard happens to be brilliant at stain removal, but Jessie finally uncovers his ulterior motives (while he figures out a way to expose her torso).
       
    • Jessie is plagued by the hatred of sound -- Otherwise known as Misophonia.
       
    • The Peppers discuss how this sensitivity plays out in their day to day, but are encouraged by the disorder's exposure in a documentary called Quiet Please (and this conversation between the creator and our friend Jessica Mernane).
       
    • Let's all just be thankful that Sadie's puppy-snores do not affect her parents.
       
    • Jessie gives up gum to avoid getting in trouble, and offers to glue Gerard’s feet together to keep him from fidgeting.

     

    TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

    1. Have you or your partner ever ruined a load of the other person's laundry?
       
    2. What is your least favorite sound in the entire world?
       
    3. Which person would be better at picking out the perfect white paint color?

    Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

    Rule 009 | Use Caution When Pouring Your Heart Out to a Narcoleptic

    The Peppers start in on the topic of cell phones, and end up talking about Jessie's hurt feelings instead. Gerard insists his attention is just a glance away, but Jessie explains the feelings of being replaced by his addiction to Angel's Baseball. Instead of trying to continually check-in on what the world is experiencing, they seek to experience the world together. Jessie explains her belief in the importance of therapy, and Gerard is very in touch with his feelings about it being an extremely expensive hobby.

    QUICK BITES:

    • New feature alert! Our upcoming listener Q+A won’t work unless you send in your questions… email them to jessie [at] styleandpepper [dot] com or use this handy form. (Please include specific details, and whether or not you'd like to remain Anon.)
       
    • We passed an exciting milestone at MIF Headquarters this week… No, Gerard did not finally win the Powerball. (But he does plan to keep playing.)
       
    • Jessie accidentally hi-jacks G’s original topic, and he never quite gets his groove back.
       
    • Diving into bed early to spend time together does not have the effect that either of us had hoped for.
       
    • Gerard claims that Jessie is only ever a glance away, but glances are a lot harder to come by when there is a baseball game to tweet about.
       
    • Caution: Deleting the social media apps from your phone MAY cause a nervous tick to occur. Plus, if you don't have twitter installed, you won't be able to follow along with our attempts at humor.
       
    • Settling in to the sounds of silence is the best way to prevent a relapse to addiction. (See: Episode #2)
       
    • Our phones prevent us from really feeling like we’re experiencing things together, because we end up checking in to see what the rest of the world is experiencing instead.
       
    • Gerard + Jessie share a few tips for managing phone-time while you’re spending quality time with your partner. (Hint: It DOESN’T involve keeping the mobile device locked away in a drawer.)
       
    • Jessie requests permission to seek professional help for her mental and emotional health. Gerard makes an argument for why watching HGTV together could be just as therapeutic as the real thing.
       
    • The psychologist around the corner should have been a guest on Episode #6. Yet another vote for the growing list of supporters on #TeamNap.
       
    • When the budget feels too tight to seek professional help? Don’t forget about flex spending and long talks with good friends
       
    • If your partner has resistance when it comes to joining you on “the couch,” Gerard’s suggestions might help them feel better about the fear-filled unknown.


    TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

    • Have you ever gotten your feelings hurt by being “replaced” with a mobile device?
       
    • What are some existing technological boundaries that have worked well for your own relationship? (Share them right over here!)
       
    • Is there anything that could become a shared activity, where you use your phone to enjoy it together?
       
    • Do you view therapy an expensive hobby or important investment? 
       

    As we mentioned in the show, next week is going to be HUGE!

    Stay tuned for the big news, and come chat with us over in the facebook group until then!

    Rule 002 | Always Keep Your Partner’s Favorite Mood Music On Hand

    In episode two, we share our thoughts on the topics of well-placed silence + mis-matched last names. Living in a noisy city can have it’s downsides, but not many sounds are worse than a co-worker cutting his or her toenails at their desk. (EW!) After learning about a disorder called Misophonia from a noise-averse friend, Jessie quickly self-diagnoses herself to justify the inappropriate irritation she feels from minor day-to-day noises.

    We discuss our “bedroom playlist” preferences for the first time, and invent an app that will make it easier to "turn something on" at a moments notice. While the differences between evenings with an introvert and an extrovert are considered, a third member of the family is introduced -- Hi, Joey! 

    Gerard wants to figure out why people won't get over Jessie’s last name, and he finally admits to embracing his secret alter ego. We come clean about the story behind naming our podcast, and you'll hear a glimpse at how The Peppers first came to be.

    References: The Todd Glass Show, Pete Holmes talking with Richard Rohr on You Made it Weird, One Part Plant by Jessica Mernane, The Meyers-Briggs Foundation, Jessie’s fashion and lifestyle blog called Style + Pepper, Being Boss Facebook group

    QUICK BITES:

    • Pretty obsessed with podcasts. G loves these guys, and Jessie is hooked on way too many to name. (Ok, fine: Rob Bell's Robcast, Start Up, The Longest Shortest Time, The Lively Show, The Good Life Project, Being Boss, After the Jump, and the list goes on.)

    • Jessie slows down her super-speed listening when the words are extra special. (Richard Rohr + Pete Holmes even got a second listen!)

    • Misophonia is not the fear of ordering soup at a sushi restaurant, but might explain why you want to walk around with marshmallows in your ears.

    • Silence is sometimes a good thing, but we prefer music during dinner. And sex. We’ve learned that the same tunes often work well for both.

    • A killer idea for an app is invented. Stay tuned and (hopefully) you'll thank us later. 

    • Introversion vs. extraversion on a typical weeknight. Can you guess which one of us is which?

    • Gerard is perplexed by how many people are fascinated with our different last names. Specifically, our dry cleaning delivery guy.

    • We share the story behind how we became The Peppers. It involves a bit of style, and some self-discovery from Gerard.

    • Crowdsourcing some responses by checking in on social media... Send a request to join our facebook group and be sure to follow @meetthepeppers on social media!

    • Sharing several super-creative last-name stories from fellow fans of the podcast, Being Boss. (A must listen for any creative entrepreneur!)

    Trigger Questions:

    • What is your absolute least favorite noise in the entire world?

    • What is the first thing that comes to mind when you meet a woman who has kept her maiden name?

    • When was the last time you experienced complete silence? Did it make you feel relief or discomfort?

    Take a stab at answering the above, and we'll chat about it right over here!