Books

Rule 081 | Talking Things Out Can't Fix Broken Furniture

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Whether it’s broken furniture or the deconstruction of someone’s faith, The Peppers always try to take an approach that is as forgiving as possible.

Thanks to PrepDish, Minted + Songfinch for making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head to our site for more info about how to support the show.


QUICK BITES:

  • Sadly, our annual end-of-the-year purge resulted in a heartbreaking smash of broken glass.

  • Curious about what the broken table might sell for? Prepare to have your jaw drop open here and then please come help scrape Jessie off the floor.  

  • Our affinity for Craigslist runs several seasons deep. Proof: The infamous Goodwill armoire + our usual pre-move prep.

  • Episode 73 will explain why Sadie is hard to calm down when Jessie is around.

  • Spite cleaning. Is that a thing?

  • Haste makes waste, especially when it comes to glass. An homage to Ep 44: Wine glasses are not meant to be washed by hand.

  • Our time together is short these days, and that makes every conversation feel too precious for arguing.

  • Jessie’s spiritual life has been transformed by the book Centering Prayer And Inner Awakening by Cynthia Bourgeault.

  • Welcoming Prayer involves these three steps: identifying your emotion, welcoming the emotion, and then letting the emotion go.

  • Looking for a cool coffee shop in downtown KC? Say hey to our friends at Monarch, and please be sure to tell them we sent you.

  • Gerard brings up his updated stance on pacifism and you can hear us talk more about it in Episode 49: Pacifists Fight With Puns Not Guns.

  • Listen to the Liturgist podcast episode about mysticism to hear what inspired Jessie’s extra dose of insight.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Is there a favorite book that you find yourself regularly recommending to others?

  2. Which piece of furniture in your house holds the strongest sentimental value?

  3. Do you think it’s possible to forgive someone before they’ve apologized for their misstep?

  4. Have you ever been hurt by what Gerard labels ‘reckless faith’?


Rule 076 | Mystery Is Meant To Keep Marriage Alive

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Jessie accidentally hops on the “true crime” bandwagon and Gerard agrees that some of their media consumption is concerning. In this episode, The Peppers discuss everything from sex to drugs to murder, so you may not want to listen with your kids in the room.

Thanks to PrepDish, Minted + Audible or making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head to our site for more info about how to support the show.

QUICK BITES:

  • So many true crime mentions from this episode: Serial, NBC’s Dateline, Dirty John, and many more!

  • Haven’t caught up on The Pepper’s cross-country trip? Check out Episode 10 to hear about our coast to coast adventure!

  • Jessie has talked about her skittish nature on the show before. Episode 27 was when we documented her mild paranoia and the drama that ensued after she dove through a window.

  • Connie Britton is Jessie’s crush of the week.

  • Take a look at the Peppers neighborhood by watching Dexter + CSI: Miami!

  • Bravo is launching a new scripted series called Dirty John (based on the popular podcast) and some of the taping took place on our very block!

  • My Favorite Murder is one of the leading true crime podcasts that Jessie mentions, much to Gerard’s dismay.

  • This article inspired the original Dirty John deep-dive and was written for the Los Angeles Times by Christopher Goffard.

  • The Girl On The Train + Gone Girl are two of the books that increased Jessie’s appetite for mystery.

  • Grab the Overdrive app to read your LIbrary’s books for free!

  • Making A Murderer is Gerard’s exception when it comes to true crime TV that features blood or gore. Fictional shows are another story, and in this category he has watched The Sinner, Yellowstone, Breaking Bad + House of Cards.

  • The Peppers both enjoyed Weeds + Ozark which we promise are only coincidentally about drugs.

  • We last discussed our distinct TV preferences back in Episode 56. (The front runner is still a show called Big Little Lies: a mini series based on the book by Liane Moriarty.)


TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What is the best mystery you’ve ever read?

  2. Have you ever gotten sucked into a show, series or book about something dark or disturbing?

  3. Do you ever feel concerned about the kinds of media that your partner consumes?

Rule 074 | Venting Is The Best Way To Let Out Hot Air

The Peppers discuss the distinct value of having a group of friends who can love you despite the occasional need for an honest debrief. Gerard asserts that drinking scotch with dudes makes a great backdrop for discussing scripture* while Jessie agrees that having close friendships are a key element to the pursuit of Great Love. Their conversation proves that gender stereotypes do not matter when it comes to communication and despite some overanalyzing, the two learn a ton from completing the full-loop together.

*No confidentiality codes were harmed in the making of this episode.

Thanks to PrepDish, Ritual + Follain for making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head to our site for more info about how to support the show.


QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie + Gerard have very different approaches when it comes to walking into a party. Take the Strengthsfinder test to find out if you’re a woo or a relator.

  • Men deal with chronic loneliness more than most people might think. Gerard referenced this piece about masculinity after telling about the men’s retreat that he went on with our church. → “What’s the problem with men in America?”

  • Venting is not an excuse to slap the other person across the face with an insult, it’s about releasing of internal pressure and understanding each other more fully.

  • Take a peek at the full definition of the term triangulation to find out if it could be something that happens in your own marriage.

  • Jessie is a stickler for restaurant service, but she sometimes needs some help when it comes to speaking her mind.

  • Gerard vents his work frustrations when he gets home from work, and Jessie is keen to let him so that they can get it out of the way and get on with their evenings.

  • Using a protective forcefield is key when your partner needs to share but you don’t want your feelings to get hurt. Whether it’s a preface or a footnote: give your partner a head’s up before you launch into a diatribe.

  • Being honest with each other about faith has been something that tends to trip us up when it comes to venting. Waiting until the other person is open to receiving the feedback is the only way we’ve been able to navigate this space, but it’s tempting to blurt things out before your partner is ready to talk.

  • We loved reading The Zim Zum of Love to get a better idea of the connection between us... The idea is this: Marriage is like a magnetic force that deserves to be protected.


TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Do you consider yourself to be more of a woo or a relator?

  2. If the the wrong meal gets delivered to you at a restaurant, are you more likely to send back your food or just eat it anyway?

  3. How would you describe the difference between venting and complaining?

  4. Who are the people in your life that provide space for accountability and emotional safety?

Rule 060 | Don't Get Your Bikini Waxed The Day Before A Beach Trip

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The big finale of our special Summer Travel Series! Jessie + Gerard dive deep into their hardshell rollerbags to bring you the absolute best of their biggest travel tips. This episode is all about efficiency while adventuring, and please consider it a personal survival guide packed with resources just for you!

Thank you so much for tuning in this Summer... We would LOVE to have your support for our upcoming episodes and you can find out how to get involved with the show right over here

In the meantime, come hang out with us on twitter or instagram and see below for this week's handy show notes...

The Official "Marriage is Funny" Travel Manual

 


Jessie's 6 Points to Smart Packing:

  1. Capsule wardrobes are key. The Peppers discuss this discovery in Episode 59 and it proves the love that both partners have for form, function, and ultimate efficiency.

  2. Choose a color scheme. Let the season and the destination determine your selection, and don’t forget that complimentary colors make it much easier to mix and match all of your pieces.

  3. Multifunctional clothing is key. Jessie loves pieces like this drapey cardigan, and of course the Pepper Dress was literally MADE for feeling stylish on your next big trip.

  4. Choose a uniform. Figure out what you love to wear most at certain points of transit and then OWN IT instead of trying to get creative each time. Jessie says that a great pair of compression leggings makes for the perfect base layer, and Gerard swears by his fancy leather backpack to keep his personal belongings in tow.

  5. Keep your neutrals in check. Most accessories are either leather (or leather-like) and differing shades can cause a bit of clashing depending what else you bring to wear. Optimize the options by selecting one color (or two that are complimentary) and Jessie personally loves sticking with black and/or camel... with the occasional pop of red.

  6. Leave the heavy stuff behind. Shoes and handbags should be as light as possible (especially when empty), but it also makes sense to leave out bulky bras, hats, and other cumbersome pieces that you can live without.

 

  • Grab Gerard’s style faves here:  red chinos, barracuda jacket, and a suede bomber.

  • Jessie’s favorite boutique is Moss Designer Consignment in Austin, Texas, and here is what she wore on the day she bought the world's heaviest bag.

  • Gerard explains that planning ahead in the food department is key to keeping Jessie healthy when they’re away from home. Things like grapefruit/oranges, sugar snap peas, protein bars and mixed nuts will keep you full and happy.

  • The Peppers reminisce about the time when Jessie almost got detained at customs because of a lesser-known Jamaican export.

  • Jessie uses this ginger tea to keep away the tummy problems and Gerard prefers the stronger method of immodium ad.

  • Listen in for the secret to getting a mini-fridge delivered to your hotel room so that you can hit up a local grocery store or keep your fancy leftovers cold.

  • Gerard can’t live without these fancy licorice bites. Or Mountain Dew Code Red. Or Smuckers Uncrustables.

  • Jessie realizes that Gerard accommodates her food needs so that he can LATER gripe about the make-up and skincare obsession that we’ve talked about on past episodes.


TOILETRY TIPS:


PACKET PRODUCTS YOU CAN’T PASS UP:

Nail polish remover pads
Murad Resurfacing Peel
Starbucks "Via" instant coffee
Leaner Creamer
Collagen powder
Hand + Face Wipes
Acure Coconut + Argan Oil wipes
Whiskey
Mac + Cheese
 

  • We’ve talked about travel rewards points on the show before but Gerard uses this opportunity to dive even deeper into his favorite topic. No word yet on whether he can redeem the frozen yogurt frequent-shopper cards that Jessie has collected from across the country.

  • The Peppers prefer Southwest Airlines when it comes to a credit card with great earning options. The Chase credit card has extremely versatile points that can be redeemed for almost anything, and we use our American Express to get 6% cash back on our purchases. JetBlue offers family accounts in case you'd like to accrue points as a crew, but regardless of where you start: please SPEND RESPONSIBLY and don’t email us with complaints about your debt bill. (But DO message us here with any questions/additional advice.)

  • The Points Guy is Gerard’s go-to resource for learning, but the best place to start is with a simple sign up. We love SPG, Marriott + Kimpton for hotel stays, and most of these have transferrable or gifting options.

  • Download your binge-able content from Netflix or Amazon Prime instead of staring at the in-flight magazine for the umpteenth time.

  • Get a kindle or e-reader and then download the Overdrive app for FREE e-books (as long as you have a valid library card)! Using your prime membership will also give access to tons of free books + magazines that can come straight to your device!

  • Figuring out your international data plan ahead of time is the right idea, but if you want to conserve data while you’re abroad: be sure to download the Google Translate app before you go! Duolingo is also a fun way to learn the basics in many languages. (Added Bonus: Their app doubles as an iPhone game and we talk about this more in depth on Episode 18.)

  • Sleeping on airplanes suck no matter what, but Jessie is going to test out the Trtl Pillow to see if it makes a difference in getting her beauty sleep while on-the-go. It's part scarf / part neckbrace and will hopefully lull Jessie into a reasonable about of rest.

  • Magnesium supplements act as natural relaxants for tired/tense muscles and you can use the powdered or pill form depending on whatever is most convenient. Gerard swears by melatonin for this same purpose, but it makes some people groggy so you may need to test it out first. 

  • And finally: Some say that you can speed up the jet-lag recovery process by grounding yourself in the grass with bare feet. Gerard plans to try it on our trip to Europe/Africa this fall, and Jessie is happy to have some validation of her inner hippie-girl. 
     

Three Things We’ve Learned From Our Biggest Travel Mistakes:

  1. Always Pack Underwear In Your Carry-on Bag

  2. Never Leave Home Without Anti-Nausea Medication

  3. Don’t Get Your Bikini Waxed On The Day Before A Beach Trip

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Do you have a typical travel uniform that you rely on while flying or driving long distances?
     
  2. What is your road trip junk food of choice?
     
  3. If you could have tiny, individually wrapped packets of any product, what would it be?


We will miss you guys so much while we're on our next break! ❤️ Come hang out with us online by following along with our insta-stories, and join the private FB group to connect with the rest of our Great Love Gang!

Rule 057 | Tourist Traps Are Rarely Worth The Trip

The Peppers are taking a 10-year anniversary trip in September and are finding that the road to planning everything out is a little rockier than they expected. Tune in as they navigate the nitty gritty of nailing down a perfect itinerary and please send recommendations if you have any can’t-miss spots that you think we’d love!

Thank you so much for tuning in to the MIF Summer Travel Series... We would LOVE to have your support for our upcoming episodes, and you can find out how to get involved with our Season Five Dollar Drive right over here


In the meantime, come hang out with us on twitter or instagram and see below for this week's handy show notes...

QUICK BITES:

  • We’ve been married for almost 10 years and haven’t really planned a trip for just the two of us yet! (Unless you count the Great Love Getaways with our listeners or the cross country tour in 2015?)

  • We’re experiencing the speculation that The Keels talked about in Episode 8: sometimes both partners define a trip differently from a vacation.

  • Gerard almost gave Jessie a heart attack while his finger hovered over the purchase button of some spendy European flights... At this point, we’re both thankful for his deep love of airline points which you may remember from back in Episode 36.

  • The Peppers are flying in and out of Switzerland from the U.S. and then will explore the countries of Spain, Portugal + Morocco from there. (One of the two finally concedes that an upgrade is necessary when you’re married to someone with absurdly long legs.)

  • Jessie and Gerard have differing approaches to budgeting for their big trip, but setting an initial number provides a helpful launching pad for the cost break down.

  • Gerard is the money guy in this family, but you’ll hear our budgeting deficit start to re-emerge from back in Episode 22. Hear him start to squirm when Jessie presses for exact numbers, while she also simultaneously admits to her unavoidable cheapskater-y.

  • The Peppers nab some travel books for each of the different locations that they’re going to visit, but want to make sure that they cross-reference with personal recommendations in order to avoid the tourist traps. 

  • Jessie confesses that she hates museums and Gerard professes a preference for monuments. The two agree that a fat tire bike tour is the best way to see a new city, and they had a fabulous experience when they tried it in Paris.

  • The Peppers walk through their individual “best day” scenario for their upcoming trip... Thankfully, both have pretty similar expectations and the results will probably depend on access to a swanky SPG hotel gym OR a nice Airbnb kitchen.
     

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What’s your favorite travel splurge when it comes to a long trip?

  2. Which partner in your relationship typically takes the reins on planning for vacation?

  3. What was the most disappointing travel experience that you've ever had with your spouse?

 

Come hang out with us online by following along with our insta-stories, and join the private FB group to connect with the rest of our Great Love Gang!

Rule 039 | When In Doubt, Just Ask A Sexpert (Part I)

This week, Jessie and Gerard are chatting with Sex & Relationships Expert, Kate McCombs. They excitedly pepper her with a handful of questions submitted by the Great Love Gang, but you'll also hear a tiny bit about their own intimacy adventures as well. (If you enjoy this conversation, be sure to subscribe to Marriage is Funny on your favorite podcast player, and listen in for Part II that will go live on Friday!)

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

QUICK BITES:

  • You guys blew us away with your 70+ responses to our sex survey! Missed the chance to weigh in? Feel free to share your thoughts right here and we’ll do it again if there’s enough interest.
     
  • The Peppers are currently sleeping in separate beds, and Kate confirms that there’s nothing wrong with a good night’s rest.
     
  • Q1: How can a couple make time for sex when they both want it, but one (or both) partners feel tired or blah?
     
  • Kate (figuratively) drops the mic with a helpful tip about reframing the way you set up a sex date.
     
  • Gerard blurts out his own secret idea for how he setting the scene in order to get busy.
     
  • Q2: How can someone overcome the challenge of painful sex?
     
  • The best lube is made from Good Clean Love. (And that's probably the only thing about us that you’ve never wanted to know.)
     
  • Finding the right Dr. or physical therapist should be the first step towards treating painful sex… Check the National Vulvodynia Association to find a practitioner near you.
     
  • Q3: I like making love, but can rarely get myself to make the first move. How am I supposed to initiate sex when I never feel horny?
     
  • The book Come As You Are by Emily Nagaski is next up on The Peppers “to read” list.
     
  • Q4: I’m anxious about having sex, and we hardly do it anymore. How can I get back to actually craving physical intimacy with my husband (as much as I used to)?
     
  • Q5: How does hormonal birth control have an impact on a women’s libido?
     
  • Q6: What are some ways to try and reverse a low libido?
     
  • Q7: Is there any way to intensify a man’s orgasm?
     
  • Q8: How can my partner and I climax at the same time?
     
  • Kate confirms that eight out of every 10 women need clitoral stimulation in order to achieve an orgasm.
     
  • Jessie and Gerard read YOUR sex-related wish-list in a rapid fire succession.
     
  • In many cases, having a conversation about what you want out of sex can actually feel more intimate than actually having sex.
     
  • Q9: What are some ways we bring up sex with our partner without making things awkward.
     
  • Start small and share things that give you some context for your chats! Kate's website is a great resource and we love her rundown of how to add more empathy to your everyday. 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Name one thing that tends to "press down on the brakes" of your sexual desire.
  2. What is your favorite (most optimal) time of the day to have sex?
  3. Describe your experience of sex-education (either at home or school) from when you were young.

We're celebrating the official start of summer AND the end of Season Two at our finale party on May 29th!  

Find out how to join us right here and we would LOVE to see you then. 

Rule 035 | Too Much Twerking May Get You Into Trouble

We're back and the Great Love Getaway was a huge success! Listen in for the highlights of our trip: Bear-hugging, fire-dancing, pants-splitting, guacamole-eating, tequila-drinking, pool-dipping... The list goes on and we're already getting excited for next time. In this week's discussion, The Peppers talk about why it's important to daydream together, and they come up with a list of the things that you shouldn't do when looking for another duo to be your marriage mentors.

Hard to believe we're nearing the end of another season, but that means we're now accepting sponsors for Season Three of the show!

Contact us directly for more info, and be sure to save the date for our finale party on May 29th.

 

QUICK BITES:

  • The GLG guests give a recap of the best moments in their own words.
     
  • Watch the full video by Kelly Dlux to pretend like you were there, and start getting excited to join us for the next trip.
     
  • Taking our guests along with us for a dreamlining exercise... Courtesy of Tim Ferris and his book, The 4-Hour Work Week.
     
  • Gerard sets out to start working on his fitness, but Jessie thought he might have been polishing his comedy craft instead. See his inspiration photo here:
  • Becoming conversational in Spanish is still on our minds from Episode 18.
     
  • Jessie is dreaming about having a vegetable garden, becoming the author of a published book, and hosting another Great Love Getaway in the fall... Lofty goals, but it feels good to get them off her chest.
     
  • Being a full-time podcaster might feel daunting, but Gerard encourages Jessie to go for it anyway. You can get a teeny-tiny sneak peek at her upcoming project right here.
     
  • The Peppers are already excited to plan another GLG, and the only problem now will be reigning in the vision.
     
  • “Marriage isn’t something that should be done in isolation. If having us share our stories can give other people comfort or encouragement or a jumping off point for their own relationships, then that’s wonderful -- and this getaway is the in-person version of that.” -G
     
  • Marriage mentors can certainly be a blessing, but digging into life with a strong community of married couples can be just as life-giving.
     
  • Jessie shares three things NOT to do when looking for marriage mentors.
     
  • The differences in diverse relationships create so many wonderful opportunities for learning from each other.
     
  • You may remember Tim + Mimi Keel from Episode 8... We're lucky enough to call them friends, and they've inspired and encouraged us ever since our years at Jacob’s Well.
     
  • The Peppers feel so grateful for their community that has grown since they first got married, but being blessed means that they want to turn around and pour themselves out into other married couples.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. If it really came down to it, would you rather have a six-pack of abs or a six-pack of beer?
     
  2. What is one splurge-y thing that you could daydreaming about having in the next six months?
     
  3. Can you think of one couple you know that might be blessed by spending some quality time with you and your partner?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 033 | Never Forget That You're On The Same Team

The Peppers get real about their vows and open up about the challenge of living with chronic pain. Jessie woos Gerard with some baked salmon and a basketball game, but when the going gets tough he throws her under the team bus.

If you happen to have a friend who experiences or is married to someone who has chronic health issues, would you please consider sharing this episode with them?

We're happy to pour out our hearts as a way to encourage others, and we would love your help in making sure that this show reaches exactly the right ears. 
 

QUICK BITES:

  • A General Note: Our marriage isn’t perfect, but our commitment is real. Hear the full run-down in the first few minutes of this week’s show.
     
  • Jessie didn’t get invited to fill our a March Madness bracket this year, and the KU Jayhawks will probably win because of it.
     
  • Becky Murphy Simpson should win an ESPY for her clever YAY SPORTS t-shirt.
     
  • The Sweet Sixteen tournament has nothing to do with the MTV show of the  same name. (Most wives would be way more excited about watching big games if there were fireworks and fancy dresses involved.)
     
  • The Peppers very first Valentine’s Day together set a precedent for our sports watching habits, and now you’ll hear why Gerard has been trying to make up for it ever since.
     
  • Jessie pulls a "Barney Stinson" by wooing Gerard with a home-cooked meal and a half-time make-out session.
     
  • His and hers henleys… Are these still a thing? We should make these a thing.
     
  • The Jayhawks mascot is NOT the same thing as Foghorn Leghorn from Looney Tunes. The Peppers send many apologies to all of our fellow Rock Chalk fans.
     
  • Jessie tries to explain that there is a distinct difference between “not loving a sport” and “hating a sport.”Gerard throws Jessie under the bus when it comes to whether or not she really loves the teams that have his heart.
     
  • Twitter makes it a lot easier to keep up with the commentary, but nothing beats plopping down in a recliner to enjoy your favorite teams. Bonus points if you bust out the killer bean dip.
     
  • Do they still make TVs with picture in picture? We will check into this and report back. (Thank goodness for the ability to watch sports on our special “appy-things.”)
     
  • Listening to Science Mike on The Liturgists Podcast gives some helpful perspective on processing thoughts and emotions.
     
  • Jessie dives right in and describes what she calls The Six Layers of Chronic Pain. Her health challenges have been a part of The Peppers relationship for longer than they’ve even been married, and they're still getting used to having it as their fairly unfortunate third-wheel.
     
  • If you haven't met Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live, you're in for a real "treat" and you can thank us later.
     
  • The book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown gives us helpful language around identifying and dealing with our emotions of shame.
     
  • Jessie learns that noticing patterns within her interactions with Gerard can teach her a lot about how to heal the mishaps. (No matter how annoying they may be.)
     
  • We assure you that Jessie has not actually ever received medical treatment from a man standing on a corner, but we cannot make any promises about the future at this point.

     

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Does your spouse have a special interest that you could blow them away by getting excited about?
     
  2. Have you ever pretended to be jazzed about a sporting event in order to impress a date?
     
  3. What brings you the most comfort when you're feeling sick or in physical pain?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and tweet to us at @meetthepeppers if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 024 | Use Caution When Giving Your Real Last Name To Strangers

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This week, The Peppers are chatting with a dynamic duo that they know you will love! Michelle + Kelly DLux are fellow love enthusiasts, and the husband / wife team behind a new photo series called Creative Marriages

We are so excited to introduce you to two of our favorite friends, and can't wait to have them share the heart behind their own search for Great Love. In this episode, we talk about taking an intentional approach to a weekly sabbath, what it means to balance social media with being an attentive spouse, and how interracial relationships can be the cause of both blessings and challenges.

The Peppers AND The Dluxes would LOVE to hang with you over the upcoming weeks, so join us for the Creative Marriages gallery showing on Sunday, February 14th and get excited for the Great Love Getaway coming up in April!

QUICK BITES:

  • Having an altar-ego keeps things spicy... It can also keep away they identity thieves.
  • In case you’re curious, here is the 90’s throwback coca-cola commercial that inspired Kelly's personal brand.
  • Check out Kelly and some of his hot DJ moves right here.
  • Michelle decides to embrace the Dlux handle after reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.
  • Hear the story behind how Gerard and Jessie became The Peppers, and you'll also get some background on Gerard’s corresponding break-down.
  • Kelly + Michelle tell us how the idea for a #DLUXSABBATH came to be... Follow along with the hashtag in order to live vicariously through their weekly adventures!
  • They recently visited the Rancho Bernardo Winery and filled a random Monday with taste-testing and hot tubbing and traipsing around in the rain with friends.
  • Find Michelle on snapchat by searching the username: michellekphoto
  • Find Kelly on Periscope by searching the username: @kelly_dlux
  • Jessie’s snapchat is styleandpepper and our collective Periscope handle is @meetthepeppers!
  • In Episode 9, we talked about our own struggles with social media. (So glad to know we're not alone.)
  • Having an interracial relationship has provided the Dluxes with both challenges and blessings, but their efforts to convey grace (no matter what) is so inspiring!
  • Michelle shares honestly about feeling like her wedding doesn't always match up to what she’s exposed to in her day to day business.
     

TRIGGER QuestionS:

  • Does your partner have any major fears that you've learned to accept? 
  • How do you and your partner prioritize rest together? What would your own version of a #dluxsabbath look like?
  • Do you believe in the concept of having one singular soul mate on the entire planet?
     
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More Dlux Details:

Kelly is the owner of the DJ/MC company Dlux Entertainment, and is currently pursuing his masters degree in Apologetics at Talbot Seminary. Michelle is a wedding and portrait photographer who you may also recognize as a former Nickelodeon star (on Ned's Declassifed School Survival Guide). They both love exploring Southern CA and volunteering their time on the leadership team at Emmaus Church in Santa Ana. 

Say hello to Michelle + Kelly on Instagram:

@creativemarriages
@michellekimphoto
@kellydlux
@dLUXent
@kelly_dlux
@streetphotoist
@roamingnatives
@broamingnatives

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 006 | Never Serve Deli Meat to a Vegetarian

A timely episode, because most summers are filled to the brim with family time, picnic sammies, and lots and lots of weekend naps.

QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie powers through the latest recording sesh, despite her current "summer cold." She would like to acknowledge that this is definitely gross, and she's sorry for the nasal-y voice.
     
  • All the single ladies (well, two of them) send in their thoughts about the show, and we’re instantly smitten.
     
  • Gerard confesses to sleeping on the job. Horrible idea or brilliant strategy? Any listeners out there that feel daring enough to try this tactic?
     
  • Snoozers guilt is real, y’all. Justify your midday sleep sessions with our custom and compelling pro-nap research.
     
  • Our summer family reunion at the lake is next weekend.  Impending time with our loved ones leads to the need for a concrete strategy.
     
  • Send us your own in-law struggles right here, and we’d love to share a bit of feedback in an upcoming episode!
     
  • Jessie crumbles under the pressure of a simple sandwich. What’s the protocol for a vegetarian gal who adores her meat-eating mother-in-law?
     
  • The secret that could unlock your next holiday trip home: Always treat your partner just like you would a dinner party guest when you bring them to spend time with your family. 
     
  • Gerard uses a war metaphor to describe a helpful coping mechanism. This was apparently an accident, but it totally works. Ref: The Fog of War
     
  • As codependent as it sounds -- we always try to keep an eye on each other while at family functions, and making sure that food preferences, general activities + seating arrangements are coordinated certainly helps when it comes to feeling loved.
     
  • Gerard tells a LIE on the air for the first time ever... This weekend’s water balloon attacks at the lake will be documented, and Jessie will report back next week. Stay tuned. 
     

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  • Ask your partner: "How can I make you feel more welcome when we're with my family?"
     
  • Are you on #TeamNap or #TeamAwake? Tweet at us with your vote! (And be sure to chat about it with your partner, too.)
     
  • Which member of your partner's family can you commit to connecting with, the next time you see them?
     

DON'T FORGET TO join us in THE FB group for behind-the-scenes videos and tons of new fun friends. ;)

Happy listening, and we'll catch ya next week!!! 

Rule 005 | It Never Hurts to Ask for a Price Cut

We may not be official Minimalists, but give us a chance to scale back on our bills, and we’ll take it. Episode 5 includes a round-up of our current TV favorites, tiny-house daydreaming + coming up with ways to get rid of clutter in order to live more simply.

QUICK BITES:

  • Finally an “E” for explicit. Thanks to Jessie’s cursing.
  • Listener shout-outs! We learn that our show pairs well with beautiful weather, and also makes a great soundtrack for cooking Blue Apron meals.
  • Quote sent in from Tim Suttle... (Tattooable? You be the judge.)
  • To cable, or not to cable? That is Jessie’s question.
  • Landline telephones = The next hipster trend?
  • Our current must-watch-TV includes The Americans, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt + Parenthood.
  • Buildings go up, rent goes down. Brilliant. (Please DO try this at home.)
  • Negotiation nation. Gerard shares his secrets for lowering our bills right and left.
  • Must listen: The Minimalists + Rob Bell
  • The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
  • Our first giveaway! We are shamelessly preventing our own clutter by sending you presents... Enter to win by leaving a comment on the FB thread, and we’ll draw a winner at random and announce in the next episode.
  • Jessie says, "Have knives, will travel. But otherwise, don’t even count on it."
  • Gerard finally comes clean about the teeny-tiny ulterior motive he has for bringing up the topic of living simply.
  • The 100 Things Challenge from our friend Jess Lively

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  • What are some areas of spending or bills that you could  feasibly lower throughout the year? Commit to asking boldly, and let's see what happens!
  • Where would you put your tiny dream-house?
  • If you had to get rid of just 10 things in your home right this minute, what would they be?

Don't forget to leave a comment on the FB thread to enter our secret surprise backpack giveaway! Spoiler alert: We peeked at what’s inside and IT’S AWESOME.

(If you HAPPEN to like fresh new beauty supplies.)

Happy listening, and see ya next week!!! 

Rule 003 | No One Likes to be Woken Up by a Vibrating Floor

This episode is (partially) about sleep, which is ironic because Jessie is up working on this very post at 3:16am, and Gerard is busy getting his beauty rest.  Keeping the summary short, so check out the bites below and we can't wait to hear what you think!

Quick Bites:

  • Differing sleep schedules cause us a bit of dissonance. Gerard is jealous of Jessie’s late mornings, but not so much of her insomnia.

  • Our first few months of marriage made for wake-up habits that have lasted for years. Gerard is the alarm-guy and Jessie is pretty much useless unless he wakes her up with snuggles and sweet-nothings.

  • Our alarm-clock frames of reference from growing up are as different as night and day. We are currently trying to track down Gerard's original 1980s classic white radio (with red lights).

  • The super-cool French neighbors downstairs get woken up with a vibrating surprise. Oops.

  • A challenge is presented: J plans to start waking up earlier so that we can spend time together before we start our days. G prefers to eat his egg sandwich and watch the news in peace, so we’ll keep you posted on how this pans out.

  • Last year we read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and the biggest benefit was learning to be fluent in each others feelings. During the show, we explore what Quality Time means to each of us, and in real-life we often DQ our devices when they get in the way of heartfelt conversations.

  • Shared projects and hobbies can include everything from comedy to cocktails to climbing, but we find that anything where learning meets fun turns out to be the best combo.

Trigger Questions:

  • How old were you when you first had to start waking up on your own?

  • Describe the version of quality time that makes you feel most loved. How can your partner make small steps toward making this happen?

  • If you had to choose one song to be woken up with for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Chat each other up, and then march on over to share your findings with us right here!

Rule 001 | Don't Try to Hang a Chandelier Together in Your First Year of Marriage

We FINALLY kick off our first episode and can't help but hit the ground running. You'll hear a bit of backstory on how we met along with the reasons why starting a podcast feels like an important part of our current reality. (Spoiler: A few of the reasons are self-indulgent and we borrow a page from the book of one of our favorite married couples, Rob + Kristen Bell.) We also start to explore the big dreams and future plans for this little community, beginning with a private Facebook group that you can join right here.

Listen for the story of our first big fight, and a declaration that Rule #1 for marriage should be “Don’t try to hang a chandelier together in your first year.” Jessie shares about how being a wife sometimes make her want to throw things, and Gerard learns that he has set unattainable standards for himself as a husband. We decide together that searching for Great Love (instead of perfect love) is the best approach, and that the accountability of this show will be the best way to do just that.

References: The Zim Zum of Marriage by Rob + Kristen Bell

QUICK BITES:

  • We start the show exactly how Jessie starts her jogs. Which also elicits instant concern from the neighbors.

  • Rob + Kristen Bell’s book is next on our list. His killer podcast is already a shared favorite.

  • We’ve got big dreams for this little community... Join the MIF facebook group to take a podshot at Gerard.

  • The birthplace of our “idyllic” college courtship. (And the movie we saw on our first/accidental date.)

  • Jessie's favorite place to shop for chandeliers and Gerard’s favorite way to prevent electrocution.

  • See our current light fixture above, and get your own swag hooks to be fancy like us.

  • Jessie compares being a wife to this classic pastime and fesses up to temper-tantrum box throwing.

  • Gerard wants to earn a simple trophy for his art of husbandry.

  • We decide to set out on the hunt for Great Love, and then commit to putting our aspirations for perfection to rest.

Try 'em at home trigger Questions:

  • When was the first time that you can remember having a fight with your partner?

  • Which year of marriage has been your most difficult?

  • What does the phrase “Great Love” mean to you?

Talk it out amongst yourselves, and free to share your thoughts with us here!