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Rule 075 | All Is Fair In Love And Politics

marriage and politics.png

We’re talking about politics and it’s just in time for the midterm elections. Facebook-Gerard is glad to be back but Uncensored-Jessie is unsure about his arrival. Social media may cause a sense of split-personalities but apparently, it’s even harder to for these two to agree on important condiment decisions as a family.

Thanks to PrepDish + Season for making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head to our site for more info about how to support the show.

QUICK BITES:

  • It’s high time to revisit some of the things that we talked about in Episode 27. (Pretty funny to the last time we tried to tackle a similar subject, pre-Trump.)

  • Gerard explains how digiphrenia has been a very real experience for him. If you’d like to learn more, we recommend the book Present Shock by Douglas Rushkoff.

  • The infamous FB post has since been deleted, but Gerard’s sentiment remains the same and Jessie happens to agree.

  • Tearing down someone’s character is an unfair and ineffective way to win an argument online. (Especially if you’re attacking someone who is married to a collegiate-champion debate captain.)

  • We’re looking for ways to have real-life chats with people about what they believe, but we promise not to ruin the evening if you end up having us over for dinner.

  • Pacifism resurfaces in the form of a lurking husband that is covered in camouflage... We talked about this last (minus the weeds and the machete) back in Episode 49.

  • Gerard’s edgy approach to twitter has created conflict in our midst and it’s something that that gets Jessie riled up about, even after a full year has passed.

  • The podcast called “I love you, but I hate your politics” has been broadening our perspective of what it means to love someone who may be on the opposite side of the aisle.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Who’s more political on social media -- you or your partner?

  2. How does it make you feel when your partner posts about something online that you happen to disagree with?

  3. Have you ever made a joke (either in person or online) that got taken out of context?

Rule 044 | Wine Glasses Are Not Meant To Be Washed By Hand

Jessie’s discomfort with the dirty dishes brings about a big admission of Gerard’s recent dishonesty. The Pepper's TV-watching habits have dredged up the importance of healthy expectations, and they both commit to being more present when they’re pressing "play" on their favorite shows.

This is the last week to grab your tickets for our next Great Love Getaway in Puerto Vallarta! Check out the sweet video from our April trip, and we can't wait to vacation with our favorite listeners on October 12th-16th, 2016.


QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie and Gerard’s favorite stemware has no actual stem.

  • Whether or not we actually intend all of the puns in this episode is entirely up to your own comedic discretion.

  • This is NOT the first time we’ve covered dishes on the show, and you can listen to the last convo we had about chores right here.

  • Does anyone want to invent a subscription service that offers the monthly delivery of fresh mason jars? If so, please sign us up to be first in line.

  • Moment of silence for Jessie’s favorite coffee drinking vessels: The black orchid mug from our friend Michael Aram and a ceramic travel tumbler from Starbucks.

  • Quantico + The Americans + Master Chef are our current TV favorites... We will not stop live tweeting them so follow along with our antics here and here.

  • Kelly Dlux warned us about the perils of tweeting while watching TV together, and we are currently re-listening to his sage advice about social media from back in Episode 24.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Which person in your marriage is more particular about the chores? Is there one specific chore that they absolutely will not let the other partner help with?
     
  2. Has your sweetie pie ever broken something that meant a lot to you? Have you ever broken something and tried to cover it up afterwards?
     
  3. If you could instantly morph into ONE character from any current TV show this season, who would it be and how would your spouse react?

 

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 038 | Proper Hand-Holding Takes Years Of Practice

Gerard divulges the back story behind his drinking habit, while the duo invites you to join them in making their signature drink, a Pepper Margarita. Jessie craves a certain kind of physical touch... as long as it means her fingers don't go numb.

Hard to believe we're nearing the end of another season, but that means we're now accepting sponsors for our next round of the show!

Contact us directly for more info, and be sure to save the date for our finale party on May 29th.
 

QUICK BITES:

  • We’re almost to 96 ratings on iTunes! Help us pass 100 this week? We'd love to have your support, and you can head over here for instructions on leaving a review.
     
  • The recipe for a Pepper Margarita: Take 2 slices of jalapeno (seeds removed) and muddle in the bottom of a shaker. Add 1.5 oz of tequila, 1 oz of triple sec and 1 oz of lime juice (from a REAL LIME), shake and pour over ice in your favorite glass with a salted rim!
     
  • Just in case you live nearby and want to try the pineapple-infused tequila that Jessie tried recently… Head to Agaves Kitchen in Long Beach!
     
  • Jessie’s narcolepsy might have been contagiously caught from this character back in Season One.
     
  • The Peppers may have met at a school with strict rules, but that hasn't stopped them from embracing the joy of a nice glass of tequila. 
     
  • Share a virtual drink with The Gang on Cinco de Mayo! Make yourself a Pepper Marg, snap a pic and share with us on social media using the hashtag #GreatLoveGang.
     
  • Jessie admits that she loves holding hands, but Gerard hasn't always believed in the importance of using the right technique.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Who are your top three favorite people to share a cocktail with?
  2. What version of physical touch makes you feel most connected to your partner?
  3. Do public displays of affection make you feel uncomfortable or incredibly loved?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 033 | Never Forget That You're On The Same Team

The Peppers get real about their vows and open up about the challenge of living with chronic pain. Jessie woos Gerard with some baked salmon and a basketball game, but when the going gets tough he throws her under the team bus.

If you happen to have a friend who experiences or is married to someone who has chronic health issues, would you please consider sharing this episode with them?

We're happy to pour out our hearts as a way to encourage others, and we would love your help in making sure that this show reaches exactly the right ears. 
 

QUICK BITES:

  • A General Note: Our marriage isn’t perfect, but our commitment is real. Hear the full run-down in the first few minutes of this week’s show.
     
  • Jessie didn’t get invited to fill our a March Madness bracket this year, and the KU Jayhawks will probably win because of it.
     
  • Becky Murphy Simpson should win an ESPY for her clever YAY SPORTS t-shirt.
     
  • The Sweet Sixteen tournament has nothing to do with the MTV show of the  same name. (Most wives would be way more excited about watching big games if there were fireworks and fancy dresses involved.)
     
  • The Peppers very first Valentine’s Day together set a precedent for our sports watching habits, and now you’ll hear why Gerard has been trying to make up for it ever since.
     
  • Jessie pulls a "Barney Stinson" by wooing Gerard with a home-cooked meal and a half-time make-out session.
     
  • His and hers henleys… Are these still a thing? We should make these a thing.
     
  • The Jayhawks mascot is NOT the same thing as Foghorn Leghorn from Looney Tunes. The Peppers send many apologies to all of our fellow Rock Chalk fans.
     
  • Jessie tries to explain that there is a distinct difference between “not loving a sport” and “hating a sport.”Gerard throws Jessie under the bus when it comes to whether or not she really loves the teams that have his heart.
     
  • Twitter makes it a lot easier to keep up with the commentary, but nothing beats plopping down in a recliner to enjoy your favorite teams. Bonus points if you bust out the killer bean dip.
     
  • Do they still make TVs with picture in picture? We will check into this and report back. (Thank goodness for the ability to watch sports on our special “appy-things.”)
     
  • Listening to Science Mike on The Liturgists Podcast gives some helpful perspective on processing thoughts and emotions.
     
  • Jessie dives right in and describes what she calls The Six Layers of Chronic Pain. Her health challenges have been a part of The Peppers relationship for longer than they’ve even been married, and they're still getting used to having it as their fairly unfortunate third-wheel.
     
  • If you haven't met Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live, you're in for a real "treat" and you can thank us later.
     
  • The book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown gives us helpful language around identifying and dealing with our emotions of shame.
     
  • Jessie learns that noticing patterns within her interactions with Gerard can teach her a lot about how to heal the mishaps. (No matter how annoying they may be.)
     
  • We assure you that Jessie has not actually ever received medical treatment from a man standing on a corner, but we cannot make any promises about the future at this point.

     

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Does your spouse have a special interest that you could blow them away by getting excited about?
     
  2. Have you ever pretended to be jazzed about a sporting event in order to impress a date?
     
  3. What brings you the most comfort when you're feeling sick or in physical pain?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and tweet to us at @meetthepeppers if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 032 | Separate Closets Are The Key To A Happy Marriage

You might already know our guests Damien + Grasie from their pop-culture status, but The Peppers simply know them as a couple of fun friends who are always loaded with laughs. Listen in as Jessie + Gerard chat with them about improv comedy, mischievous cats, and that one time when Damien got mad enough to throw a chair. 

CONNECT WITH THE DUO ONLINE:

Find Damien on Twitter / Snapchat / Instagram - @damienfahey
Find Grasie on Instagram / Snapchat / Twitter - @grasiemercedes
(+ be sure to check out her style blog for endless amounts of inspiration!)

Don't Forget: We are headed on vacation together in April and we want YOU to come with us! A group of our fabulous listeners are joining us in Puerto Vallarta next month, and we can already tell that it is going to be EPIC... We have room for just one more couple, so snag your spot and let's hit the beach.

QUICK BITES: 

  • The fun in the FB group included words from Mark the mailman, a fairy-godcouple that sent us on our flea market date, and FINALLY the recipe for Jessie's eggplant tacos.
     
  • Save the Date for our big party in Long Beach on May 29th! The Peppers will be celebrating the wrap of Season Two, and we can't wait kick off the summer together. 
     
  • Damien tells us what it's like to always and forever be "The MTV Guy." (Among other things!)
     
  • Consider this a friendly reminder that your husband might be funnier on twitter than he is in real life.
     
  • Being coupled-up has given this pair a serious advantage on the comedy stage. (More proof of our theory that things are better when we're together!)
     
  • This duo AND their friend Dave Holmes recommend iOWest for improv classes in LA.
     
  • The Faheys biggest fight involved a chair being thrown. But other than that, they hardly ever argue...
     
  • A neo-neat-freak admits she has a problem, and that is the first step. 
     
  • The secret to a happy marriage is most definitely keeping separate closets.
     
  • The collective form of the word "MY" applies to parents, weddings, bedrooms and favorite pets.
     
  • Cats are nearly impossible to control. Cute as they may be, having one at home is not for the faint of heart.
 
Dakota The Narcoleptic Cat

Dakota The Narcoleptic Cat

 
  • The Peppers share about how their first kitten ruined their first Christmas and simultaneously made them an official "dog family."
     
  • Family frames of reference can have a huge impact on marriage roles, and both couples have let strong connections with their parents be a part of their kitchen duties.
     
  • Snapchat Husband Shaming has to be a thing. Is it a thing?
     
  • Art imitates life when Peter + Lois fight for the toaster.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. If you had to choose one, would you be on Team Dog or Team Cat?
     
  2. Have you ever secretly (or not so secretly) re-done a household chore because you didn't like how your partner did it the first time?
     
  3. Can you think of a time when you have ever felt competitive towards your spouse? (Creatively, professionally, playfully, etc.)

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 027 | Nosy Neighbors Make The Best Home Alarm Systems

This week, Gerard violates the first rule of polite company by bringing up politics, and Jessie admits to her recent run-in with the law. The Peppers learn that living in a tight-knit neighborhood has it's pros and cons, and that it's probably time to hide a spare key. 

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

 

QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie wants to replace Sadie’s collar with something spikier OR get an alarm system to keep the house safe.
  • The Peppers have an enthusiastic block-watcher who is causing over-active imaginations.
  • Gerard calls Jessie out on her TV news obsession, and she realizes that’s what might be causing some of her paranoia.
  • Leaving the house without your wallet means coffee and a protein box for dinner. (Thank goodness for the Starbucks app!)
  • Jessie finally discovers her calling as a professional criminal, but cries in the face of a police officer in order to avoid arrest.
  • When having to choose between rollerblades and an alarm system, the latter seems like a more responsible choice.
  • Voting values can sometimes feel like a divisive split. The Peppers have differing political views, but they still try to treat each other with the utmost respect.
  • Gerard doesn’t always agree with Jessie's electoral choices, but feels strongly about defending her right to make (and keep) a strong decision. 
  • The Peppers LOVE Lester Holt because he loves his wife. Send him a tweet if you’d like to hear him on the show!
  • Jessie will attack you with big hugs and a beverage to avoid letting politics prevent a friendship.
  • Gerard has social media schizophrenia. From facebook to twitter to instagram, it’s all different. (But our podcast listeners get the privilege of knowing the real guy.)
  • Tearing down the humans attached to any campaign is not helpful. Rob Bell says: "In political discourse, vague ominous insults are unhelpful." What is helpful is to say, “What specifically don’t you like about his or her stance on the issues?” Listen to his recent series for heartfelt thoughts on a handful of current policies.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. How often do you watch/read the news? Does it ever affect how safe you feel in your neighborhood?
     
  2. Do you and your partner make voting decisions together? Have you and your spouse ever voted differently? 
     
  3. When was the last time you had to bite your tongue about a hot button issue in order to preserve a social situation?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 024 | Use Caution When Giving Your Real Last Name To Strangers

MIF Rule 24

This week, The Peppers are chatting with a dynamic duo that they know you will love! Michelle + Kelly DLux are fellow love enthusiasts, and the husband / wife team behind a new photo series called Creative Marriages

We are so excited to introduce you to two of our favorite friends, and can't wait to have them share the heart behind their own search for Great Love. In this episode, we talk about taking an intentional approach to a weekly sabbath, what it means to balance social media with being an attentive spouse, and how interracial relationships can be the cause of both blessings and challenges.

The Peppers AND The Dluxes would LOVE to hang with you over the upcoming weeks, so join us for the Creative Marriages gallery showing on Sunday, February 14th and get excited for the Great Love Getaway coming up in April!

QUICK BITES:

  • Having an altar-ego keeps things spicy... It can also keep away they identity thieves.
  • In case you’re curious, here is the 90’s throwback coca-cola commercial that inspired Kelly's personal brand.
  • Check out Kelly and some of his hot DJ moves right here.
  • Michelle decides to embrace the Dlux handle after reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.
  • Hear the story behind how Gerard and Jessie became The Peppers, and you'll also get some background on Gerard’s corresponding break-down.
  • Kelly + Michelle tell us how the idea for a #DLUXSABBATH came to be... Follow along with the hashtag in order to live vicariously through their weekly adventures!
  • They recently visited the Rancho Bernardo Winery and filled a random Monday with taste-testing and hot tubbing and traipsing around in the rain with friends.
  • Find Michelle on snapchat by searching the username: michellekphoto
  • Find Kelly on Periscope by searching the username: @kelly_dlux
  • Jessie’s snapchat is styleandpepper and our collective Periscope handle is @meetthepeppers!
  • In Episode 9, we talked about our own struggles with social media. (So glad to know we're not alone.)
  • Having an interracial relationship has provided the Dluxes with both challenges and blessings, but their efforts to convey grace (no matter what) is so inspiring!
  • Michelle shares honestly about feeling like her wedding doesn't always match up to what she’s exposed to in her day to day business.
     

TRIGGER QuestionS:

  • Does your partner have any major fears that you've learned to accept? 
  • How do you and your partner prioritize rest together? What would your own version of a #dluxsabbath look like?
  • Do you believe in the concept of having one singular soul mate on the entire planet?
     
DLUX2.jpg

More Dlux Details:

Kelly is the owner of the DJ/MC company Dlux Entertainment, and is currently pursuing his masters degree in Apologetics at Talbot Seminary. Michelle is a wedding and portrait photographer who you may also recognize as a former Nickelodeon star (on Ned's Declassifed School Survival Guide). They both love exploring Southern CA and volunteering their time on the leadership team at Emmaus Church in Santa Ana. 

Say hello to Michelle + Kelly on Instagram:

@creativemarriages
@michellekimphoto
@kellydlux
@dLUXent
@kelly_dlux
@streetphotoist
@roamingnatives
@broamingnatives

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 009 | Use Caution When Pouring Your Heart Out to a Narcoleptic

The Peppers start in on the topic of cell phones, and end up talking about Jessie's hurt feelings instead. Gerard insists his attention is just a glance away, but Jessie explains the feelings of being replaced by his addiction to Angel's Baseball. Instead of trying to continually check-in on what the world is experiencing, they seek to experience the world together. Jessie explains her belief in the importance of therapy, and Gerard is very in touch with his feelings about it being an extremely expensive hobby.

QUICK BITES:

  • New feature alert! Our upcoming listener Q+A won’t work unless you send in your questions… email them to jessie [at] styleandpepper [dot] com or use this handy form. (Please include specific details, and whether or not you'd like to remain Anon.)
     
  • We passed an exciting milestone at MIF Headquarters this week… No, Gerard did not finally win the Powerball. (But he does plan to keep playing.)
     
  • Jessie accidentally hi-jacks G’s original topic, and he never quite gets his groove back.
     
  • Diving into bed early to spend time together does not have the effect that either of us had hoped for.
     
  • Gerard claims that Jessie is only ever a glance away, but glances are a lot harder to come by when there is a baseball game to tweet about.
     
  • Caution: Deleting the social media apps from your phone MAY cause a nervous tick to occur. Plus, if you don't have twitter installed, you won't be able to follow along with our attempts at humor.
     
  • Settling in to the sounds of silence is the best way to prevent a relapse to addiction. (See: Episode #2)
     
  • Our phones prevent us from really feeling like we’re experiencing things together, because we end up checking in to see what the rest of the world is experiencing instead.
     
  • Gerard + Jessie share a few tips for managing phone-time while you’re spending quality time with your partner. (Hint: It DOESN’T involve keeping the mobile device locked away in a drawer.)
     
  • Jessie requests permission to seek professional help for her mental and emotional health. Gerard makes an argument for why watching HGTV together could be just as therapeutic as the real thing.
     
  • The psychologist around the corner should have been a guest on Episode #6. Yet another vote for the growing list of supporters on #TeamNap.
     
  • When the budget feels too tight to seek professional help? Don’t forget about flex spending and long talks with good friends
     
  • If your partner has resistance when it comes to joining you on “the couch,” Gerard’s suggestions might help them feel better about the fear-filled unknown.


TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  • Have you ever gotten your feelings hurt by being “replaced” with a mobile device?
     
  • What are some existing technological boundaries that have worked well for your own relationship? (Share them right over here!)
     
  • Is there anything that could become a shared activity, where you use your phone to enjoy it together?
     
  • Do you view therapy an expensive hobby or important investment? 
     

As we mentioned in the show, next week is going to be HUGE!

Stay tuned for the big news, and come chat with us over in the facebook group until then!