Podcasts

Rule 076 | Mystery Is Meant To Keep Marriage Alive

mystery in marriage 01.jpg

Jessie accidentally hops on the “true crime” bandwagon and Gerard agrees that some of their media consumption is concerning. In this episode, The Peppers discuss everything from sex to drugs to murder, so you may not want to listen with your kids in the room.

Thanks to PrepDish, Minted + Audible or making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head to our site for more info about how to support the show.

QUICK BITES:

  • So many true crime mentions from this episode: Serial, NBC’s Dateline, Dirty John, and many more!

  • Haven’t caught up on The Pepper’s cross-country trip? Check out Episode 10 to hear about our coast to coast adventure!

  • Jessie has talked about her skittish nature on the show before. Episode 27 was when we documented her mild paranoia and the drama that ensued after she dove through a window.

  • Connie Britton is Jessie’s crush of the week.

  • Take a look at the Peppers neighborhood by watching Dexter + CSI: Miami!

  • Bravo is launching a new scripted series called Dirty John (based on the popular podcast) and some of the taping took place on our very block!

  • My Favorite Murder is one of the leading true crime podcasts that Jessie mentions, much to Gerard’s dismay.

  • This article inspired the original Dirty John deep-dive and was written for the Los Angeles Times by Christopher Goffard.

  • The Girl On The Train + Gone Girl are two of the books that increased Jessie’s appetite for mystery.

  • Grab the Overdrive app to read your LIbrary’s books for free!

  • Making A Murderer is Gerard’s exception when it comes to true crime TV that features blood or gore. Fictional shows are another story, and in this category he has watched The Sinner, Yellowstone, Breaking Bad + House of Cards.

  • The Peppers both enjoyed Weeds + Ozark which we promise are only coincidentally about drugs.

  • We last discussed our distinct TV preferences back in Episode 56. (The front runner is still a show called Big Little Lies: a mini series based on the book by Liane Moriarty.)


TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What is the best mystery you’ve ever read?

  2. Have you ever gotten sucked into a show, series or book about something dark or disturbing?

  3. Do you ever feel concerned about the kinds of media that your partner consumes?

Rule 072 | Your Memory Might Not Be As Strong As You Think

marriage and memory MIF 072a.jpg

This week, The Peppers learn that it’s hard to claim accuracy if you can’t quite remember the details. Gerard admits to correcting Jessie more than he should and Jessie admits that she only exaggerates when it’s truly necessary.

Thanks to PrepDish, Thrive Market + RXBAR for making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head over to our site for more info about how to support the show.

EXTRA NOTE: We are donating all of the profits from this episode to the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. Feel free to join us if this cause is also near to your heart!

QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie is closely following the career of Brian Williams. His career may be tarnished, but her admiration is unwavering.

  • Check out the clip of that fateful Letterman episode here. (Jessie cannot watch without hiding her eyes.)

  • Sneak a peek of the new photos we took with Christa and be sure to check out her work if you’re local!

  • The Peppers cannot seem to agree on the details of how they met. Is this a case of basic stubbornness or simply the fading memory of an avid storyteller?

  • Gerard listened to a podcast about memory that is making him question his “flashbulb moments.” This discussion causes both Peppers to ponder how our memories change as we get farther away from them.

  • Envelopes = danger. Licking them is a sticky business.

  • Alzheimers is a real bitch. Donate here to support research for a cure. We’re giving all the proceeds from this episode and would love to have you join us!

  • Listen to Malcolm Gladwell’s “Free Brian Williams” episode of Revisionist History.

  • The Notebook opened the floodgates of Jessie’s tearducts and Gerard has been puzzled about this for the past 13 years.

MIF MAILBAG:

This week we share tips about moving houses with your spouse! Hiring movers, how to pack, and who to call when you’re up to your ears in boxes.

Listen to past episodes about furniture and purging for extra suggestions and we’ll try to share a house tour over on instastories soon!

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. How long do you have to know somebody before you consider them a true friend?

  2. Do you and your partner agree on all the details of your wedding? Guest count, dinner menu, playlist, etc?

  3. Can you remember what your partner was wearing the first time you both met?

Rule 033 | Never Forget That You're On The Same Team

The Peppers get real about their vows and open up about the challenge of living with chronic pain. Jessie woos Gerard with some baked salmon and a basketball game, but when the going gets tough he throws her under the team bus.

If you happen to have a friend who experiences or is married to someone who has chronic health issues, would you please consider sharing this episode with them?

We're happy to pour out our hearts as a way to encourage others, and we would love your help in making sure that this show reaches exactly the right ears. 
 

QUICK BITES:

  • A General Note: Our marriage isn’t perfect, but our commitment is real. Hear the full run-down in the first few minutes of this week’s show.
     
  • Jessie didn’t get invited to fill our a March Madness bracket this year, and the KU Jayhawks will probably win because of it.
     
  • Becky Murphy Simpson should win an ESPY for her clever YAY SPORTS t-shirt.
     
  • The Sweet Sixteen tournament has nothing to do with the MTV show of the  same name. (Most wives would be way more excited about watching big games if there were fireworks and fancy dresses involved.)
     
  • The Peppers very first Valentine’s Day together set a precedent for our sports watching habits, and now you’ll hear why Gerard has been trying to make up for it ever since.
     
  • Jessie pulls a "Barney Stinson" by wooing Gerard with a home-cooked meal and a half-time make-out session.
     
  • His and hers henleys… Are these still a thing? We should make these a thing.
     
  • The Jayhawks mascot is NOT the same thing as Foghorn Leghorn from Looney Tunes. The Peppers send many apologies to all of our fellow Rock Chalk fans.
     
  • Jessie tries to explain that there is a distinct difference between “not loving a sport” and “hating a sport.”Gerard throws Jessie under the bus when it comes to whether or not she really loves the teams that have his heart.
     
  • Twitter makes it a lot easier to keep up with the commentary, but nothing beats plopping down in a recliner to enjoy your favorite teams. Bonus points if you bust out the killer bean dip.
     
  • Do they still make TVs with picture in picture? We will check into this and report back. (Thank goodness for the ability to watch sports on our special “appy-things.”)
     
  • Listening to Science Mike on The Liturgists Podcast gives some helpful perspective on processing thoughts and emotions.
     
  • Jessie dives right in and describes what she calls The Six Layers of Chronic Pain. Her health challenges have been a part of The Peppers relationship for longer than they’ve even been married, and they're still getting used to having it as their fairly unfortunate third-wheel.
     
  • If you haven't met Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live, you're in for a real "treat" and you can thank us later.
     
  • The book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown gives us helpful language around identifying and dealing with our emotions of shame.
     
  • Jessie learns that noticing patterns within her interactions with Gerard can teach her a lot about how to heal the mishaps. (No matter how annoying they may be.)
     
  • We assure you that Jessie has not actually ever received medical treatment from a man standing on a corner, but we cannot make any promises about the future at this point.

     

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Does your spouse have a special interest that you could blow them away by getting excited about?
     
  2. Have you ever pretended to be jazzed about a sporting event in order to impress a date?
     
  3. What brings you the most comfort when you're feeling sick or in physical pain?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and tweet to us at @meetthepeppers if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 030 | Gulping Your Drink Will Get You In Trouble Every Time

Jessie + Gerard are officially inviting YOU to come on vacation with us in April! We’re taking some listeners to Puerto Vallarta next month, and we can already tell that it is going to be EPIC.

The Peppers break their own rule from Episode 004 by deciding to air their dirty laundry secrets. When it comes to fighting stains, Gerard is a sneaky son of a bleach, and Jessie turns a little crazy when she hears tiny sounds. The misophonia struggle is real at Casa de Pepper, and this couple learns that desperate times call for desperate drinking measures.

QUICK BITES:

  • Thank you so much for sharing this show with your friends! We’re hovering amidst the iTunes recommended section for our category, and it’s all because of you.
     
  • Vacation with us in Mexico next month! We have room for two more couples on the Great Love Getaway… Grab your sweetie and come hang out with us in the sun.
     
  • Gerard breaks the rule from Episode 004 and decides to revive the secret deleted content.
     
  • Jessie is a wuss and refuses to use bleach on her clothes.
     
  • You didn’t want the free steak knives from Episode 011 so we didn’t bother asking if you wanted a free microwave too.
     
  • Did you know there are over 300 different colors of white paint? Pretty sure we’ve sampled them all at our local Home Depot.
     
  • Gerard happens to be brilliant at stain removal, but Jessie finally uncovers his ulterior motives (while he figures out a way to expose her torso).
     
  • Jessie is plagued by the hatred of sound -- Otherwise known as Misophonia.
     
  • The Peppers discuss how this sensitivity plays out in their day to day, but are encouraged by the disorder's exposure in a documentary called Quiet Please (and this conversation between the creator and our friend Jessica Mernane).
     
  • Let's all just be thankful that Sadie's puppy-snores do not affect her parents.
     
  • Jessie gives up gum to avoid getting in trouble, and offers to glue Gerard’s feet together to keep him from fidgeting.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Have you or your partner ever ruined a load of the other person's laundry?
     
  2. What is your least favorite sound in the entire world?
     
  3. Which person would be better at picking out the perfect white paint color?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 027 | Nosy Neighbors Make The Best Home Alarm Systems

This week, Gerard violates the first rule of polite company by bringing up politics, and Jessie admits to her recent run-in with the law. The Peppers learn that living in a tight-knit neighborhood has it's pros and cons, and that it's probably time to hide a spare key. 

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

 

QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie wants to replace Sadie’s collar with something spikier OR get an alarm system to keep the house safe.
  • The Peppers have an enthusiastic block-watcher who is causing over-active imaginations.
  • Gerard calls Jessie out on her TV news obsession, and she realizes that’s what might be causing some of her paranoia.
  • Leaving the house without your wallet means coffee and a protein box for dinner. (Thank goodness for the Starbucks app!)
  • Jessie finally discovers her calling as a professional criminal, but cries in the face of a police officer in order to avoid arrest.
  • When having to choose between rollerblades and an alarm system, the latter seems like a more responsible choice.
  • Voting values can sometimes feel like a divisive split. The Peppers have differing political views, but they still try to treat each other with the utmost respect.
  • Gerard doesn’t always agree with Jessie's electoral choices, but feels strongly about defending her right to make (and keep) a strong decision. 
  • The Peppers LOVE Lester Holt because he loves his wife. Send him a tweet if you’d like to hear him on the show!
  • Jessie will attack you with big hugs and a beverage to avoid letting politics prevent a friendship.
  • Gerard has social media schizophrenia. From facebook to twitter to instagram, it’s all different. (But our podcast listeners get the privilege of knowing the real guy.)
  • Tearing down the humans attached to any campaign is not helpful. Rob Bell says: "In political discourse, vague ominous insults are unhelpful." What is helpful is to say, “What specifically don’t you like about his or her stance on the issues?” Listen to his recent series for heartfelt thoughts on a handful of current policies.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. How often do you watch/read the news? Does it ever affect how safe you feel in your neighborhood?
     
  2. Do you and your partner make voting decisions together? Have you and your spouse ever voted differently? 
     
  3. When was the last time you had to bite your tongue about a hot button issue in order to preserve a social situation?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 007 | Putting On A Bikini Is the Best Way to Cheer Up A Crying Husband

The Peppers are pro-bikini, but there are plenty of folks out there who might disagree. Jessie + Gerard open up about how body image affects their marriage, and why the idea of modesty means something different to so many people. Gerard is reminded that we are blessed to be a blessing, and realizes that being a bi-vocational pastor is more ingrained in his life than he originally thought.

QUICK NOTES:

  • We survived Gerard’s family reunion at the lake, and there were no less than 19 references to thinly sliced deli meat throughout the entire weekend.
  • Huge thanks to everyone who has already shared their feedback for the show! We love hearing your thoughts, so keep 'em coming and feel free to leave us a review on iTunes in order to help us reach more wonderful humans.
  • Jessie has been popping up on a few other podcasts around the web this month: Listen to her chat about life as a creative entrepreneur on Dave Conrey’s Fresh Rag + making money online on The Lively Show.
  • The burden of how to wear a cute bathing suit without sinning. (Struggle’s real, y’all.)
  • Does showing too much skin in public take away from the mystery of intimate moments? Depends on the duo, apparently.
  • Modest musings, “mixed bathing” + making waves with an old rope.
  • Self-doubt is something that swims throughout both of our brains, but we hadn't talked about it until this episode.
  • Gerard almost gets punched for having a high metabolism.
  • Jessie shares her commitment to the mantra,“I am His,” and the two talk about what it means to embrace such a generous gift.
  • Do us a favor? Tell your partner how attractive they are to you. Right now.
  • Self-tanner is Jessie’s #1 tip for rocking a bathing suit with confidence.
  • Gerard’s lack of movement within his call to ministry is making him feel a bit bummed out. 
  • Metaphors about wells + pitchers + muscles (oh my!) are inspiring us to feel less stagnant as we pursue our purposes.
  • Jessie officially accepts Gerard as her latest lifestyle design client. She plans to promptly invoice him for the last eight years, and unfortunately does not offer a family discount.
  • If you ever feel like your purpose in life is not being realized, take stock of what the pursuit of that really means, and then find simple ways to embrace it everyday.
  • Passing the kleenex box and putting on a bikini are the best ways to cheer up a crying husband. You’re welcome. ;)

TRIGGER QUESTIONS: 

  • Does your spouse have a preference on how much skin you show in public? How does this affect your decisions on getting dressed?
  • What do you NEED from your partner this week? Be honest!
  • Share some of the actions that make you feel most fulfilled, and talk about how to work them in to your day-to-day life.

Rule 005 | It Never Hurts to Ask for a Price Cut

We may not be official Minimalists, but give us a chance to scale back on our bills, and we’ll take it. Episode 5 includes a round-up of our current TV favorites, tiny-house daydreaming + coming up with ways to get rid of clutter in order to live more simply.

QUICK BITES:

  • Finally an “E” for explicit. Thanks to Jessie’s cursing.
  • Listener shout-outs! We learn that our show pairs well with beautiful weather, and also makes a great soundtrack for cooking Blue Apron meals.
  • Quote sent in from Tim Suttle... (Tattooable? You be the judge.)
  • To cable, or not to cable? That is Jessie’s question.
  • Landline telephones = The next hipster trend?
  • Our current must-watch-TV includes The Americans, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt + Parenthood.
  • Buildings go up, rent goes down. Brilliant. (Please DO try this at home.)
  • Negotiation nation. Gerard shares his secrets for lowering our bills right and left.
  • Must listen: The Minimalists + Rob Bell
  • The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
  • Our first giveaway! We are shamelessly preventing our own clutter by sending you presents... Enter to win by leaving a comment on the FB thread, and we’ll draw a winner at random and announce in the next episode.
  • Jessie says, "Have knives, will travel. But otherwise, don’t even count on it."
  • Gerard finally comes clean about the teeny-tiny ulterior motive he has for bringing up the topic of living simply.
  • The 100 Things Challenge from our friend Jess Lively

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  • What are some areas of spending or bills that you could  feasibly lower throughout the year? Commit to asking boldly, and let's see what happens!
  • Where would you put your tiny dream-house?
  • If you had to get rid of just 10 things in your home right this minute, what would they be?

Don't forget to leave a comment on the FB thread to enter our secret surprise backpack giveaway! Spoiler alert: We peeked at what’s inside and IT’S AWESOME.

(If you HAPPEN to like fresh new beauty supplies.)

Happy listening, and see ya next week!!! 

Rule 002 | Always Keep Your Partner’s Favorite Mood Music On Hand

In episode two, we share our thoughts on the topics of well-placed silence + mis-matched last names. Living in a noisy city can have it’s downsides, but not many sounds are worse than a co-worker cutting his or her toenails at their desk. (EW!) After learning about a disorder called Misophonia from a noise-averse friend, Jessie quickly self-diagnoses herself to justify the inappropriate irritation she feels from minor day-to-day noises.

We discuss our “bedroom playlist” preferences for the first time, and invent an app that will make it easier to "turn something on" at a moments notice. While the differences between evenings with an introvert and an extrovert are considered, a third member of the family is introduced -- Hi, Joey! 

Gerard wants to figure out why people won't get over Jessie’s last name, and he finally admits to embracing his secret alter ego. We come clean about the story behind naming our podcast, and you'll hear a glimpse at how The Peppers first came to be.

References: The Todd Glass Show, Pete Holmes talking with Richard Rohr on You Made it Weird, One Part Plant by Jessica Mernane, The Meyers-Briggs Foundation, Jessie’s fashion and lifestyle blog called Style + Pepper, Being Boss Facebook group

QUICK BITES:

  • Pretty obsessed with podcasts. G loves these guys, and Jessie is hooked on way too many to name. (Ok, fine: Rob Bell's Robcast, Start Up, The Longest Shortest Time, The Lively Show, The Good Life Project, Being Boss, After the Jump, and the list goes on.)

  • Jessie slows down her super-speed listening when the words are extra special. (Richard Rohr + Pete Holmes even got a second listen!)

  • Misophonia is not the fear of ordering soup at a sushi restaurant, but might explain why you want to walk around with marshmallows in your ears.

  • Silence is sometimes a good thing, but we prefer music during dinner. And sex. We’ve learned that the same tunes often work well for both.

  • A killer idea for an app is invented. Stay tuned and (hopefully) you'll thank us later. 

  • Introversion vs. extraversion on a typical weeknight. Can you guess which one of us is which?

  • Gerard is perplexed by how many people are fascinated with our different last names. Specifically, our dry cleaning delivery guy.

  • We share the story behind how we became The Peppers. It involves a bit of style, and some self-discovery from Gerard.

  • Crowdsourcing some responses by checking in on social media... Send a request to join our facebook group and be sure to follow @meetthepeppers on social media!

  • Sharing several super-creative last-name stories from fellow fans of the podcast, Being Boss. (A must listen for any creative entrepreneur!)

Trigger Questions:

  • What is your absolute least favorite noise in the entire world?

  • What is the first thing that comes to mind when you meet a woman who has kept her maiden name?

  • When was the last time you experienced complete silence? Did it make you feel relief or discomfort?

Take a stab at answering the above, and we'll chat about it right over here!

Rule 001 | Don't Try to Hang a Chandelier Together in Your First Year of Marriage

We FINALLY kick off our first episode and can't help but hit the ground running. You'll hear a bit of backstory on how we met along with the reasons why starting a podcast feels like an important part of our current reality. (Spoiler: A few of the reasons are self-indulgent and we borrow a page from the book of one of our favorite married couples, Rob + Kristen Bell.) We also start to explore the big dreams and future plans for this little community, beginning with a private Facebook group that you can join right here.

Listen for the story of our first big fight, and a declaration that Rule #1 for marriage should be “Don’t try to hang a chandelier together in your first year.” Jessie shares about how being a wife sometimes make her want to throw things, and Gerard learns that he has set unattainable standards for himself as a husband. We decide together that searching for Great Love (instead of perfect love) is the best approach, and that the accountability of this show will be the best way to do just that.

References: The Zim Zum of Marriage by Rob + Kristen Bell

QUICK BITES:

  • We start the show exactly how Jessie starts her jogs. Which also elicits instant concern from the neighbors.

  • Rob + Kristen Bell’s book is next on our list. His killer podcast is already a shared favorite.

  • We’ve got big dreams for this little community... Join the MIF facebook group to take a podshot at Gerard.

  • The birthplace of our “idyllic” college courtship. (And the movie we saw on our first/accidental date.)

  • Jessie's favorite place to shop for chandeliers and Gerard’s favorite way to prevent electrocution.

  • See our current light fixture above, and get your own swag hooks to be fancy like us.

  • Jessie compares being a wife to this classic pastime and fesses up to temper-tantrum box throwing.

  • Gerard wants to earn a simple trophy for his art of husbandry.

  • We decide to set out on the hunt for Great Love, and then commit to putting our aspirations for perfection to rest.

Try 'em at home trigger Questions:

  • When was the first time that you can remember having a fight with your partner?

  • Which year of marriage has been your most difficult?

  • What does the phrase “Great Love” mean to you?

Talk it out amongst yourselves, and free to share your thoughts with us here!