Work

Rule 074 | Venting Is The Best Way To Let Out Hot Air

The Peppers discuss the distinct value of having a group of friends who can love you despite the occasional need for an honest debrief. Gerard asserts that drinking scotch with dudes makes a great backdrop for discussing scripture* while Jessie agrees that having close friendships are a key element to the pursuit of Great Love. Their conversation proves that gender stereotypes do not matter when it comes to communication and despite some overanalyzing, the two learn a ton from completing the full-loop together.

*No confidentiality codes were harmed in the making of this episode.

Thanks to PrepDish, Ritual + Follain for making this episode possible! Click right here to learn more about our sponsors and head to our site for more info about how to support the show.


QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie + Gerard have very different approaches when it comes to walking into a party. Take the Strengthsfinder test to find out if you’re a woo or a relator.

  • Men deal with chronic loneliness more than most people might think. Gerard referenced this piece about masculinity after telling about the men’s retreat that he went on with our church. → “What’s the problem with men in America?”

  • Venting is not an excuse to slap the other person across the face with an insult, it’s about releasing of internal pressure and understanding each other more fully.

  • Take a peek at the full definition of the term triangulation to find out if it could be something that happens in your own marriage.

  • Jessie is a stickler for restaurant service, but she sometimes needs some help when it comes to speaking her mind.

  • Gerard vents his work frustrations when he gets home from work, and Jessie is keen to let him so that they can get it out of the way and get on with their evenings.

  • Using a protective forcefield is key when your partner needs to share but you don’t want your feelings to get hurt. Whether it’s a preface or a footnote: give your partner a head’s up before you launch into a diatribe.

  • Being honest with each other about faith has been something that tends to trip us up when it comes to venting. Waiting until the other person is open to receiving the feedback is the only way we’ve been able to navigate this space, but it’s tempting to blurt things out before your partner is ready to talk.

  • We loved reading The Zim Zum of Love to get a better idea of the connection between us... The idea is this: Marriage is like a magnetic force that deserves to be protected.


TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Do you consider yourself to be more of a woo or a relator?

  2. If the the wrong meal gets delivered to you at a restaurant, are you more likely to send back your food or just eat it anyway?

  3. How would you describe the difference between venting and complaining?

  4. Who are the people in your life that provide space for accountability and emotional safety?

Rule 064 | A Unified Marriage Makes The Best Goal Line Defense

unified marriage

This week, Gerard is working overtime while Jessie decides to leave him in the dust on her next device upgrade. The Peppers try to be strategic about stress management skills, but all of the football metaphors are really upping their game.

Don’t forget that we’ll send you a letterpress print when you post a photo to social media with the tags @meetthepeppers / #marriageisfunny and just make sure to send us the screenshot before the end of 2017!


Ps. - Want to come on vacation with us? We’re headed to Mexico with some of our favorite listeners, and you can find all the info at greatlovegetaway.com!

 

QUICK BITES: 

  • Gerard has been working nearly around the clock and Jessie is trying to be a good sport amidst the crazy schedule. Listen to another surprisingly accurate sports reference in Episode 33, where we chat about living with chronic pain + college basketball.

  • Past birthday hurts propel most of Gerard’s decisions on taking PTO days celebrate, but everything goes out the window when he lets work-stress take over his week.

  • Being overwhelmed about work feels oddly (and unfortunately) familiar to both of the Peppers. Listen to another episode about Gerard’s perpetually crammed calendar and then hear what happens when Jessie eventually turns into a work widow.

  • Jessie has a rage black out when Gerard lapses on his husbandly-duties, but Gerard is quick to forgive because the apology was sincere.

  • Emojis and iMessages are no longer healthy elements of our communication, but hashing out our cell phone preferences has oddly seemed to help.

  • Gerard has spoken about his unhealthy cell phone relationship on the show twice before and now it’s apparent that his struggle is an annual thing.

  • Identity theft is a valid concern for Jessie (something she happens to share with this past podcast guest), but Gerard brings a dose of reality that finally gets her back on track.

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What is one thing that you'd like to receive more grace about from your partner this week?
  2. What are some of the actual symptoms that help you recognize when your spouse is stressed out?
  3. Which partner is more paranoid about things like identity fraud and conspiracy theories?

Rule 056 | Never Change A Policy While Your Partner Is Out Of Town

Two months apart has taken a serious toll on the Pepper’s connection, so they do what ALL married millennials do: they talk about it on their podcast! The Peppers have discussed the topic of work travel in the past, but this latest experience has easily been the hardest one so far. Jessie makes massive changes to the house policies while Gerard is away, and this results in the need to ban an entire phrase from her vocabulary.

Thank you so much for tuning in to the MIF Summer Travel Series... We would LOVE to have your support for our upcoming episodes, and you can find out how to get involved with our Season Five Dollar Drive right over here


In the meantime, come hang out with us on twitter or instagram and see below for this week's handy show notes...
 

QUICK BITES:

  • Jessie admits that her life (while pretending to be a savvy-single woman) is vastly different from her life when Gerard is still in town.

  • Can Lifestyle Design be considered a healthy coping mechanism? You be the judge.

  • The Peppers discuss how the latest binge-worthy TV show is a mini-series called Big Little Lies. (Pretty ironic that Jessie *almost* catches Gerard in one while they’re talking about it.) In case you decide to check it out for yourself, please be warned that there ARE gratuitous sex scenes (and some violence) up ahead.

  • Jessie fesses up to her treat-yourself splurges: expensive workout classes, fancier-than-normal groceries, and spoiling Sadie with new puppy toys. There could be far worse vices, but her revengeful attitude is a little unnerving.

  • Gerard acknowledges that their “cushion” has worn extremely thin... Probably more accurate to say that the cushion has been blown to smithereens, and they are currently trying to rebuild the house that once surrounded the cushion. As you might expect, abandonment issues abound.

  • Tune in to the following past episodes for more about navigating work + travel as a couple: how to love your partner through a rewards point addiction, keeping yourself entertained while one spouse is away, and what to do if you feel like a work-widow.

  • Part of the challenge from the duo’s time apart was caused by the stress of Jessie’s recent Kickstarter campaign -- A business project that no entrepreneur should have to go alone!

  • Gerard (accidentally) blurts out that his least favorite part about the travel was when he actually had to come back home to the tension each week. Everyone makes a note that insulting your wife is not the best way to woo her into quality time.

  • Jessie explains how her routine is different while Gerard is gone, and the two begin to hunt for a solution to running the house in a more streamlined way at all times. Basically, Gerard needs to do a better job of keeping up with the chores and Jessie needs to offer up WAY more grace than she has in the past.

  • There are STILL dishes in the sink as these show notes are being recorded. Not much has changed since we talked about this in Ep 44: Wine Glasses Are Not Meant To Be Washed By Hand.

  • Gerard explains the unfairness of Jessie changing the policy while he was away and he begs her to ditch the exclamatory approach.

  • The Peppers have big plans to repair their relationship by filling the Summer with joy and adventure together... This is the perfect pursuit as they launch into The MIF Summer Travel Series!


TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What is your favorite way to indulge while your partner is out of town?
     
  2. When has been the hardest time period in your entire marriage? What has allowed you to heal from that experience?
     
  3. What is one phrase that you wish you could BAN from your partner’s entire vocabulary?


Come hang out with us online by following along with our insta-stories, and join the private FB group to connect with the rest of our Great Love Gang!

Rule 055 | Superheroes Never Have More Than One Sidekick

marriage is funny episode 55

Jessie + Gerard return from a long podcasting break, and this show is a recap of what the last several months have been like for The Peppers. Tune in as we kick-off the upcoming special travel series, and don't forget to share your Summer moments by using #marriageisfunnyontheroad on your favorite social media platforms! 

We REALLY missed the Great Love Gang... Thank you so much for your enthusiastic support, and you can find out how to join our Dollar Drive for Season Five right over here


In the meantime, come hang out with us on twitter or instagram and see below for this week's handy show notes...


QUICK BITES:

  • The Highs + Lows game can be traumatizing to anyone who experienced it as a tween, so The Peppers play their own version and want YOUR help in giving it a new name. (Thanks to inspiration from the hosts of The Popcast Podcast and That’s So Retrograde!)

  • Jessie launched a new business while we were away! Check out her ethically-made multi-functional dress design called Season, and watch the short film to get the full story behind the brand.

  • Gerard just finished a two-month stint of commuting back and forth to the East Coast each week, and we agree that it was one of the hardest periods of our entire 10 years of marriage. Jessie accuses him of flirting with the flight attendants to get better seat upgrades, and he interestingly does not deny this point. 

  • The chance to travel around and speak on stage together is always such a highlight! February took us back to Kansas City for a big event, and we’re excited to add new dates to our calendar for appearances during the rest of 2017.

  • Gerard starts wearing a helmet while riding his bike to work, and Jessie calms down because they finally figured out how to get their armoire through the bedroom window.

  • Jessie gets excited about Gerard performing with a legit (local) rock and roll band, and we love it when our listeners come to the gigs!

  • The Peppers give you the dish on the neighborhood black sheep: Unit #3. Jessie’s warmth drives away the unfriendly tenants and then she accidentally enables the ones who do drugs right outside their bedroom window.

  • Sleeping arrangements have shifted yet again... After splitting up for their snooze-time (hear more about that in Ep 36), Jessie has snuck back into the master bedroom by disguising herself as a sea creature.  

 

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. What has your partner done in the last 6 months that made you very proud
  2. Have you stopped nagging your spouse about anything lately? Is there anything you WISH you could stop nagging them about?
  3. Who is your favorite neighbor and why do you love them so much?

Rule 037 | Avoid Conflict By Color Coding Your Calendars

Gerard is stressed about his always-crammed calendar, but still wants to find the time for sailing lessons this summer. Jessie learns that there are many effective systems for keeping a tight schedule, and decides to accept the reality of having an optimistic husband.

Hard to believe we're nearing the end of another season, but that means we're now accepting sponsors for our next round of the show!

Contact us directly for more info, and be sure to save the date for our finale party on May 29th.
 

QUICK BITES:

  • Follow along with our Las Vegas antics on snapchat by finding Jessie at the username styleandpepper.

  • Submit your sex-questions now! Send them in through the contact form on our page, OR leave an anonymous comment on the show notes page for this episode at meetthepeppers.com.

  • Gerard’s schedule is snowballing and he feels stressed by too much “stuff” on the agenda... The Peppers decide to create a system for staying on the same page with their calendars.

  • Optimism vs. realism when it comes to time management -- Which one wins?

  • The big reveal of Brea Olinda’s Mr. + Mrs. Most Optimistic!

  • Jessie makes a case for building their schedules based on order of priority, while Gerard claims that the podcast feels a little like an albatross hanging around his neck.

  • The Peppers play a game of roulette with obscure references.

  • Jessie is skeptical about taking sailing lessons this summer… She doesn’t want to squelch a dream, but the cost, timing and lack of dock-space seem like pretty big challenges.

  • Gerard wants to become Master Sailors together as their next shared project. Jessie is on-board as long as she gets to dress up like Gilligan's Mary Ann in order to play the part.

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  1. Ask your partner what is currently stressing them out...
     
  2. When was the last time you got so nervous that it made your pits sweat?
     
  3. What are the big rocks, gravel, and grains of sand in your bucket?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Rule 023 | There Is No Such Thing As A Free Date

The Peppers learn that leaving your wallet at home when you go to the flea market is a lot like working an 80-hour week... Either way, your wife's definitely going to find a way to b*tch about it.

QUICK BITES:

  • An update on our budget-building drama... Three words: store brand pickles.
     
  • The FB group exploded with suggestions and ideas for managing personal finances! Hop over there to learn and share your own.
     
  • Financial Goals for The Peppers: Building up our emergency fund, buy Jessie a pair of rollerblades (because G already got his new belt), and start saving up for The Great Love Getaway.
     
  • Join in the conversation by tweeting at us while you listen!
     
  • Jessie made a special present to commemorate a random anniversary... Get your reminder of Great Love over at meetthepeppers.com.
     
  • Gerard wants to go to the Flea Market, and Jessie shoots him down because she has no self control. (Get caught up by listening in on our budget discussion in Episode 22.) 
     
  • Jessie is on the hunt for the perfect new coffee table, an antique watch, and a handful of other things… ADD ‘EM TO THE WISHLIST.
     
  • Coffee-shopping might soon become the most romantic moment of our week.
     
  • Jessie checks in with Gerard about his busy week, and is surprised to find herself feeling a little bit stung.
     
  • Gerard is learning to balance client work and self-care. It's much harder to get used to than he thought it would be.
     
  • We changed our lives after reading The 4-Hour Work Week a few years ago, but based on the current situation -- It might be time for a little refresher.
     
  • Jessie's admits to how her recent business changes have made her crave the career momentum she's used to.
     
  • The Peppers are reminded of the main reason they call the West Coast "The Best Coast" and Gerard gets angry (and curses!) for the very first time on the show.

We're pumped to invite you to join us on the Great Love Getaway! SAVE THE DATE for April 7-10 of 2016, and get excited by grabbing one of our new goodies right here.  
 

TRIGGER QUESTOINS:

  • Re-tell the story of your first kiss and share us with it here!
     
  • What would your DREAM DATE be if money were no object? 
     
  • Do you or your partner ever feel burned-out in your jobs? How does the other person react when that happens?

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

 

Rule 021 | You Don't Need An Excuse To Throw A Big Party

Rule 21 Party Time.jpg

We're back and we missed you guys more than you know! It's finally time for Season Two, and there are a lot of reasons to party so we're diving right in.

Be sure to listen for our very special guests, and we're sending big bear hugs to the dear friends who are helping us celebrate this week:

QUICK BITES:

  • Would you ever have guessed the most requested topic of all time? Jessie spills the beans and then promises to talk about kiddos in the near future.
     
  • Our Great Love Getaway is coming in Spring 2016! Sign up at meetthepeppers.com to be the first to know about dates and details.
     
  • We finally found a place to live and are loving our little bungalow in Long Beach (especially because the owner has turned out to be our fairy landlordmother). Back in Episode #5, we talk about how it never hurts to ask for a price cut, and recently had a big win by following one of our own rules.
     
  • Gerard has started traveling a lot more with his new job, and Jessie is getting used to being home alone with nothing but reality TV and a queen-size bed to keep her company. #heavenonearth
     
  • Our trip to Guatemala with Unbound.org was a huge blessing, but Jessie’s animal-arch-nemesis kept crawling right up and creeping her out.
     
  • Gerard brags on Jessie for finishing her first triathlon, and then calls her out for waiting to learn her road bike until the last minute.
     
  • Sadie gets major surgery and we end up learning what it’s (probably) like to take care of a drunken toddler.
     
  • Gerard admits to getting 7 bottles of fancy liquor in his Christmas stocking. (Thanks, Santa!)
     
  • Hosting big parties make the Peppers happy, so we use Epiphany as an excuse to throw the biggest bash of the year.
     
  • Gerard is obsessed with ambiance and has learned everything he knows from party expert (and comedian) Todd Glass.
     
  • More backstory (and unexpected challenges) from the wacky costume party that we talked about in Episode 20.
     
  • Jessie’s friend Erin created a helpful guide to use as the day-of timeline for a big party
     
  • Gerard shares the traditional meaning behind why we celebrate the ancient holiday of Epiphany. Prepare yourself for a little preaching.
     
  • Our special guests weigh in on the following prompts:
    • What does Great Love look like within your own marriage?
    • What is it about your partner that makes you better together?
    • What makes up the right mix for your own marriage recipe?

 

Trigger Questions:

  • Which is more embarrassing: Accidentally showing up to a dinner party an hour early or an hour late?
     
  • What songs were your favorite additions to the dance jams of 2015?  
     
  • Describe your idea of the perfect "party ambiance"... Do you and your partner have differing views?

 

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and keep in touch by joining us in the private Facebook group!

Rule 012 | Always Act Impressed When Your Partner Flexes Their Muscles

This week's episode features our first listener question, and a new show format -- The Quickie. ;) Listen in as we chat about how working together has shaped our relationship, and why sleeping your way to the top is almost always a bad idea.

QUICK BITES:

  • Megan from Oroville, CA runs a Crossfit gym with her husband Santos, and she wrote in to ask about the best way to make decisions as a dynamic duo. 
  • The Peppers talk through what it's like to build a business together when both partners handle work differently.
  • Jessie shares about the time that her working relationship with Gerard came crashing down in the middle of a dinner date. He quit his position as her business confidante in between big bites of sushi.
  • When Jessie presents her new ideas to Gerard, he feels like he’s playing an impossible game of pinball. (And then he admits that pulling the plug sometimes just feels easier.)
  • Learn what it's like to have multiple creative orgasms a day.
  • The adventures of working together has weighed on The Pepper's relationship, but embracing differences in problem solving can help to alleviate the stress.
  • Be sure to listen to the end for a recap complete with three bonus tidbits!

TRIGGER QUESTIONS:

  • How would you describe your partner's biggest strength as it relates to their work?
  • Do you crave the need to get credit for your big beautiful ideas, or does it feel more important to simply experience whatever cool things you’ve come up with?
  • If you could only pick one frozen yogurt topping for the rest of your life, what would it be?! 

We're falling even more in love with our little community every week... Let's keep this conversation going over in the FB group, and in the meantime -- Go squeeze your sweetie pie today, and don't forget to share this episode with your favorite co-working duo!

Rule 007 | Putting On A Bikini Is the Best Way to Cheer Up A Crying Husband

The Peppers are pro-bikini, but there are plenty of folks out there who might disagree. Jessie + Gerard open up about how body image affects their marriage, and why the idea of modesty means something different to so many people. Gerard is reminded that we are blessed to be a blessing, and realizes that being a bi-vocational pastor is more ingrained in his life than he originally thought.

QUICK NOTES:

  • We survived Gerard’s family reunion at the lake, and there were no less than 19 references to thinly sliced deli meat throughout the entire weekend.
  • Huge thanks to everyone who has already shared their feedback for the show! We love hearing your thoughts, so keep 'em coming and feel free to leave us a review on iTunes in order to help us reach more wonderful humans.
  • Jessie has been popping up on a few other podcasts around the web this month: Listen to her chat about life as a creative entrepreneur on Dave Conrey’s Fresh Rag + making money online on The Lively Show.
  • The burden of how to wear a cute bathing suit without sinning. (Struggle’s real, y’all.)
  • Does showing too much skin in public take away from the mystery of intimate moments? Depends on the duo, apparently.
  • Modest musings, “mixed bathing” + making waves with an old rope.
  • Self-doubt is something that swims throughout both of our brains, but we hadn't talked about it until this episode.
  • Gerard almost gets punched for having a high metabolism.
  • Jessie shares her commitment to the mantra,“I am His,” and the two talk about what it means to embrace such a generous gift.
  • Do us a favor? Tell your partner how attractive they are to you. Right now.
  • Self-tanner is Jessie’s #1 tip for rocking a bathing suit with confidence.
  • Gerard’s lack of movement within his call to ministry is making him feel a bit bummed out. 
  • Metaphors about wells + pitchers + muscles (oh my!) are inspiring us to feel less stagnant as we pursue our purposes.
  • Jessie officially accepts Gerard as her latest lifestyle design client. She plans to promptly invoice him for the last eight years, and unfortunately does not offer a family discount.
  • If you ever feel like your purpose in life is not being realized, take stock of what the pursuit of that really means, and then find simple ways to embrace it everyday.
  • Passing the kleenex box and putting on a bikini are the best ways to cheer up a crying husband. You’re welcome. ;)

TRIGGER QUESTIONS: 

  • Does your spouse have a preference on how much skin you show in public? How does this affect your decisions on getting dressed?
  • What do you NEED from your partner this week? Be honest!
  • Share some of the actions that make you feel most fulfilled, and talk about how to work them in to your day-to-day life.